


I'm Glad I Made You My Girlfriend

by TheOneAndOnly1993



Series: Love in Kamihama [6]
Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story
Genre: Bikinis, Body Image, Communication, Confessions, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/F, Horny Teenagers, Love Confessions, Neverending(?), Non-Explicit Nudity/Sex, Oneshot collection, Romantic Comedy, Super-powered Slapstick, There is a story arc/throughline between the stories, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneAndOnly1993/pseuds/TheOneAndOnly1993
Summary: "You call yourself a fake, nasty piece of garbage, unable to fully trust your girlfriend when she says, ‘I love you.’ And I’m a worthless, clingy crybaby who can’t even earn your trust where it matters most, no matter what I do. Don't feel bad, Rena. To me, it's neither of our faults we're like this. And that's okay - because we're slowly growing stronger together, one day at a time."Tags are added by the oneshot; not reflective of the story as a whole.#1 - Momoko's Bad Timing - Teen (Drama)#2 - Beachside Blues - Teen (Comedy)#3 - Because Everything You Are (Is Everything I Need) - Everyone (Heartwarming)
Relationships: Akino Kaede/Minami Rena
Series: Love in Kamihama [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740484
Comments: 22
Kudos: 13





	1. Momoko's Bad Timing - Teen (Drama)

**Author's Note:**

> Rena is Best Girl and Kaede is my fifth, and their ship is the best in PMMM so here's where I'm writing ideas I have for stories. They can range from comedies to dramas to just plain ol' smut, and the rating will reflect this - so not all of them will be Explicit. As I update the story, the appropriate tags will be added
> 
> This story is a sequel to 'I'm Sorry I Made You My Girlfriend,' you don't have to read it to understand these oneshots; that's just how Rena and Kaede really "got" together. They can be enjoyed on their own, barring the odd reference to past stories in this MR series of mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaede is visited by a good friend with a confession she needs to get off her chest. Also, she might or might not be Rena.

_A gentle breeze plays with my hair._

_Birdies sing outside, near and far, filling the world with music._

_The clippers’ weight in my hands is heavy, shuddering down their length upon biting down._

_Snip goes another finger. Oh, wow! This is actually starting to look like a sunflower!_

_Another trimming falls, caught in my hand! I drop it in the bowl, ah! This is so excit-!_

**KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK**

“Fweh?!” Kaede’s hands flew to her face faster than her clippers clattered upon the desk. No monster behind her, just Pero-chan sleeping on the bed. _Wait._ A cute avian couple cut across the blue expanse above. _That was further away than my bedroom door. The front, then? But who could—?_

_Knock-knock-BANG!_

How unfriendly-sounding. That was sometimes Rena when she got impatient, but Kaede’s phone displayed zero text messages. It couldn’t have been one of her handful of friends, or her girlfriend. But aggressive knocking implied serious intention, being here and all. 

It might be... a stranger.

_But still…_

Kaede pushed herself from the chair, eyes on her doorknob. She walked fixing the legs of her jean shorts, making them as long as possible (halfway down her thighs) for some reason. It’s not like a creeper was definitely out there, or that he could overpower Kaede if she wasn’t quick enough to transform or anything! 

A glance through the peephole presented a friendly face, however, albeit one mired in something grim. When greeted by such a thing one’s heart would react first, and that was Kaede’s default setting 95% of the time. 

That other 5%, however, was reserved entirely for one Minami Rena. And with anything that might possibly relate to her, Kaede’s 5% reserve was the quickest draw in the West, as the saying goes. 

And the girl on the other side of this door _did_ knock rather aggressively. And until seeing her visitor, beneath the fears of a salesman or criminal, Kaede’s smothered but rational side had presumed it was Rena. 

And yet…

And yet, it was her other best friend who was waiting for Kaede’s paranoid ass. It was her other best friend looking troubled, knocked aggressively, and didn’t text ahead of time for some reason. 

_I’ll see to it, whoever this is._ Cold, rounded metal filled Kaede’s hand. _Momoko, Rena… whatever’s bothering you, I’ll help you through it._ Her hand twisted, the doorknob clicking as Kaede’s other hand unlatched the lock. _That’s the only thing I know for sure right now._

Inhaling as the door opened, Kaede's expression settled to neutrality. 

“M-Momoko?” she cried. “Hi, hello there! Not that I mind, but what’re you doing here?” 

Kaede's elder and best friend bowed at the hips, her low-cut tee giving a generous view of a... a juicy, glistening bust. “Sorry for the intrusion, Kaede-chan." Momoko's head flicked up, Kaede's eyes almost simultaneously. "I was in the neighborhood and… is this a bad time?” 

She might have seen the guilty sweat on Kaede's brow, or she could be genuinely distressed and actually Momoko. _Distant,“lightheaded” in her speech patterns. Her mind is clearly occupied, whoever this is,_ she noted on the spot. “N-no, not at all!” Kaede's sunflower-shaped bonsai would have to wait. “Oh, come in—I’ve got nothing going on today.” 

“Alright. Uh, pardon the intrusion.” From her bow Momoko took a knee, removing her loafers by hand, heel-first, rather than just kick them off all willy-nilly like a certain girlfriend. “So... what’s Rena-chan up to?” she asked, rising. 

Kaede lied, “She had to babysit her brothers, so, yeah! I’m, uh, alone and up for anything.” 

Something flickered in Momoko’s eyes, but it wasn’t shock or anger like Kaede was trying to goad. “That so? Huh. Woulda figured I’d run into the both o’ ya.” 

“We only have water,” Kaede said from their small kitchen, Momoko passing by to the living room sofa. “My parents are out grocery shopping now, actually. Among other things. If you wanna wait around until the evening...” 

“Oh, water’s just fine in that case, thanks.” Would Momoko usually accept the water on the spot, right? And Rena likes sweet drinks. Kaede pondered, second-guessed herself as Momoko took the glass with her usual sunny smile. Kaede matched hers as best she could. “Ah,” she sighed after quaffing half of it. “Hot one today. We should go to the beach this weekend, the three of us. Oh, unless you and Rena have already.” 

Kaede giggled. “We’re glued at the hip, but not literally.” Something within skipped a beat. Or ten. “Oh, Rena,” Kaede sighed, massaging those painful paces she just skipped, “I wouldn’t mind being with her all the time, though. But… I don’t think she feels the same.” She couldn’t help speaking from the heart, and whether or not this was really Momoko, Kaede’s reply would have been the same. 

Her elder huffed, a sad smile in place as she crossed her arms, the glass’s contents wobbling. “Should have a li’l more faith in your sweetheart, Kaede-chan. You know, Rena actually told me she loves you a while back.” 

“Oh, I’m aware,” she laughed. Rena had been so proud of that, too, sharing this like she’d aced a test. In Rena’s world, though, it truly was comparable. “But I understand if she feels that way, honestly: not wanting to be together _all_ the time." But that's not what Kaede wanted, either. "I love her, too. When I'm with her I'm... good, I guess, and when I'm not I find something to do, and when I do my garden thing, as I do, I... I feel like talking to Rena, even if it's just over the phone. But, despite how I feel, deep down I don’t think it’s healthy for a couple to obsess over one another. N-not after being together a year, I mean, like us. _We've been._ Um..." Kaede crossed her legs. "And Rena and I are past the Honeymoon Phase, but we love each other just as much as we did when we started. That’s what I think, and I think that's all that matters in the end.” 

“Huh." Momoko clapped her hands. "Wow, you two are… so danged cute, honestly.” 

Laughter burst from Kaede’s lips, and heat her cheeks. “Momoko!” she whined into her palms. 

The blonde grabbed her by the shoulders. “So cute I could just eat the two o’ you up!” Momoko growled, jostling her. Kaede kicked her legs, giggling, feebly pushing her away. Unlike Rena Momoko backed off by the halfhearted nudge. 

As her laughter died, a sigh exuded from behind. Momoko had collapsed into the sofa’s all-devouring softness, mussing up her ponytail as a hand clasped across her eyes, pinched her nose. “So Rena-chan’s not comin’ by later?” 

Momoko’s hand dropped. 

Her eyes opened to a halfhearted staredown with the ceiling. 

Something was seriously bothering her. “Momoko?” It was nothing heartwrenching, nothing which made her eyes in the light so glossy. But it was something—something deep, painful, and smothered immediately upon meeting Kaede’s. 

“Ah, sorry.” Momoko’s arms uncrossed, slumping at her sides. “Sorry, Kaede-chan. Bad Timing Momoko’s also Big Liar Momoko... I _am_ here for a reason, but I didn’t wanna scare you with a serious-sounding text.” 

And there it was: the call for help this was known to be. Any suspicion died on the spot, not by naivete’s clumsy hand but the simple fact that it really didn’t matter, it shouldn’t have from the start. Even if it was well-placed, whether or not this was Rena, a friend came to Kaede because they were troubled. The fantasy she had always dreamed of, but cut from her heart until becoming a magical girl, was right here eyeing the swell of Kaede’s crossed thighs just prior to her looking over. 

…

...Wait a minute. 

She couldn’t be sure if that was a coincidence, but Kaede found herself holding onto the cuffs of her shorts for security’s sake. And maybe privacy’s. 

“Alright.” Momoko leaned over, took a sip and then plunked her empty glass upon the coffee table. “I guess I shouldn’t beat around the bush. I’m here because of… of us, Kaede-chan.” 

It all hit at once: the lack of text, the seriousness in Momoko’s face: “You’re not kicking me out, are you?” Kaede turned fully, gripping her shortsleeves so she wouldn’t her elder's. “But I thought I’d gotten stronger. Or, _no_ … no, you’re not kicking _Rena_ out, right? But she’s been doing so much better these couple months!” 

“Of course not!” Momoko’s voice broke. “Of course not. There ain’t reason for me to even _think_ of doing anything like all’a that! So, relax.” 

Something within uncoiled, lighter than air, yet paradoxically mired in regret. _Now I know how Rena feels whenever she reacts on the spot._ Sighing, Kaede looked Momoko in her pained eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Momoko blanched, blushing and backing slightly. “Kaede, I…” Momoko pursed her lips, shook her head. Whispered, “Jeez, I can’t do this, Kaede, I can't say it.” 

“It’s just me, Momoko.” Their eyes met with a caress of the shoulder. 

“You won’t hate me, no matter what?” 

The fact that she cared so much about their friendship, someone as cool and mature as Momoko… “Not unless you’ve… you know, hurt someone to death,” Kaede answered lightly. 

Momoko smiled, her shoulders jumping with a smothered laugh. Gingerly, she unclasped Kaede from her shoulder, held her by the wrist between them. She wouldn’t stop looking at it; Kaede sort of wanted to pull away. Even though it just lasted a moment before Momoko held Kaede’s hand in both of hers.

“Kaede-chan,” she breathed in, and out, “I… I have feelings for ya.” 

Kaede blinked. “What?” She heard that again, and again and again, all in her mind. “What?” At the same time, two years’ worth of memories with Momoko resurfaced, scanning each and every one for longing looks or playful nudges that may or may not have had something more. “What?! Why?!” She flinched before Momoko could, before the words fully left her mouth. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kaede laid herself in her free hand, wishing that the darkness would give way to her bedroom ceiling, and Momoko’s alarmed breathing the drone of her alarm clock. “It’s just—I don’t believe it,” she blurted out. “When did this happen, Momoko? How?” 

She almost looked as cute as Rena with those big, wide eyes crowning and contrasting a bright red blush. “I-I love you as a friend, always.” Her gaze dropped to the hands strangling Kaede’s digits. “But-but-but I’m starting to… to… feel… like… like I _missed out on you_ that entire time. Y’know? Like… like you were always there, but I only saw sweet little Kaede, and not the young lady you’ve always been. Ugh. Does… does _that_ make sense?” 

Yes.

Too much. 

It made too much sense. 

A tragic amount of sense. 

“M-Momoko... I’m really, really happy you think I’m worth your time like that.” Her face and hold slackened; Kaede took the chance to rip her hand out of Momoko’s—this had to be settled succinctly, no emotional manipulation or misunderstandings. None of that. 

“I am,” she reaffirmed, massaging the feeling back into her fingers. “And I promise you, I love you, too.” 

Momoko’s gaze held, not her shoulders, slouched with the weight of rejection. But she was listening, like actually hearing her. She always heard Kaede, never looked down on her for her shortcomings—among so many others things. She’s done… everything, simply put, for Kaede. And Rena, too. 

For that, Kaede meant it in more ways than just fighting Witches as she said, “I’d not be here if it weren’t for you, Momoko.” 

She tried a smirk. “M’sensin’ a ‘but’ about to rear its ugly head.” 

Kaede allowed a sad smile when she couldn’t nod; if she devoted anything within her to doing anything other than saying what needed saying, Kaede would burst out crying from the guilt, the pain she was putting Momoko through, and that would delay the inevitable and hurt her more. 

“But,” Kaede hoarsely began, “you said a lot in the few words you just told me. How you ‘missed’ me, growing up I guess. And… and you’re starting to realize what we ‘could have had,’ right?” 

Momoko scratched the back of her head. “Sheesh. I know I’m a simple gal, but was all that really so obvious?” She was trying hard to play this off lightheartedly. 

Too hard. It was too hard to bear. “Not so obvious that I saw the signs beforehand!” Kaede… cried. “Not so obvious that I could see your feelings past my crummy self-esteem!” 

“K-Kaede—”

“But please, Momoko, please, _please_ don’t say you love me as if you’ve been through what Rena and I together have!" She looked insulted. Might have been. "I’m sorry, Momoko, I really, really am. The two of us admire everything we know about you, and we both want so _badly_ to make ‘everything we know’ just simply... ‘everything,’” she sighed. "But we don't. And that's okay. That's perfectly okay, we're as close to you as you feel comfortable with." Kaede palmed her eye. "And that's all it is, for better or worse." Exhaustion suddenly made her joints heavy. Sleep was screaming for Kaede, for a thousand year rest away from Momoko forever. 

“I… I didn’t know," said Momoko. Kaede instinctively thought that a lame response compared to the guts she herself tore out of her belly to say all that. But that was all anybody could say in this situation, really, especially with the crud Kaede just shrilled for her dog to hear. “I’m sorry I was always so distant, first of all.” 

Kaede shook her head. “No, no, you weren’t. Compared to most ‘senpais,’ well, you’re close.” In the sense of, ‘there’s nothing to compare it to, so you’re just close to us’ brand of hyperbole. “But Rena and I are… _us_ , and you, you’re… well, you’re not selfish enough to feel right talking to us about your problems, and probably too strong to think they’re worth being considered as such. That’s always been my guess, anyway. You never gave me a bad impression, Momoko; that you didn’t think we’d understand if you ever opened up, nothing like that." 

A stare. A long, sad stare. Glossy eyes blinked aside as she scratched her temple. “Sheesh,” Momoko huffed, turning away, the hand lingering on the side of her head masking emotion. “I’m really… somethin’, huh? Comin' here like we're in some kinda drama. The two o’ ya are way, way more mature than me.” 

Kaede scooted closer, felt Momoko stiffen as she wrapped around her shoulders, pressed her nose into her sleeve. “We both think that you’re the greatest, Momoko. But Rena and I are right for each other.” 

“I hear ya,” she mumbled. 

“Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of what might have been. Believe me, I’ve been burned by that before.” 

“Yeah?” 

Kaede laid her cheek on Momoko’s bicep, the arm across her chest falling, tucking itself between her soft, skinny thighs. “I had all kindsa terrible notions and embarrassingly romanticized daydreams about Rena and I. The reality wasn’t as cruel as I feared and I never should have thought that in the first place. But… Rena gets that that’s just me, and that she’s no different. The reality wasn’t as fluffy and conflict-free after she and I first… well, you know.” 

“Too much info, there, Kaede-chan.” 

She sounded amused enough to stave off any embarrassment, another wonderful aspect of Momoko. “Sorry,” she tittered. “What I’m trying to say, is you can’t let your fantasies rule your life. I’m the last girl who should be telling you this, I know, but if you ever feel sad thinking about what we _could’ve_ been, just remember it never _would’ve_ been. Like that, um, yeah. Be-because you didn’t really fall in love with me, Momoko. Not like Rena did. Instead, it seems you fell for the _idea_ of me. And you could ask Rena if she never ranted to you about this: I am _not_ an easy girl to stay with once you get to know her.” 

“No,” Momoko uttered it cold, softly. “I… was never told that kinda stuff by Rena-chan before. She’s always been pretty tight-lipped when it came to your personal moments.” 

“Huh. I always figured, but confirmation is nice.” Now that her mind was on it, though, Kaede exemplified precisely what she was about to share: “I don't think highly of myself on a _good_ day. And Rena hates the way my confidence crumbles like sandcastles in the sun if it takes a hit, so, how do you think _I_ feel whenever that crosses my mind? And, as we all know, she gets angry when I mess up in a fight.” 

“It’s because she’s worried. C’mon, Kaede, you knew that before the two o’ ya started dating.” 

“Part of it’s definitely worry, I know _that_.” But Rena was complicated, with conflicting emotions for just about everything. “And I’ve always acknowledged that it’s hard for Rena, finding the words to how she really feels, and _not_ always because she doesn’t know how.” 

“Now I’m sensin’ an uncomfortable ‘but’ incoming.” Momoko laid her head on top of Kaede’s. 

It was the closest they’ve ever been, physically. 

“It’s nothing bad, I don’t think.” Kaede's knees rubbed together. “Rena’s worried about me hurting myself, so she gets angry when I make mistakes; I make mistakes because I’m skittish and weak when my head isn’t in the game, and that can get you or her or myself hurt. Or worse. Thus the circle: Rena doesn’t want that, and the danger we’re in is so real, it really does take just one slip-up to get your soul gem shattered, so she… well, Rena’s like me, you know? Our heads are usually caught up in some kind of worst-case-scenario.” 

Momoko hummed. “Sounds like it could get annoying for you both.” 

“It does.” Kaede’s cheeks began to ache; she had started smiling at some point. “But we’ve always been that way, Rena and I. The fact that we’re still together despite that says the bad hasn’t outweighed the good we give to one another.” Yet a certain bad habit of Rena’s did inflict a lot of needless stress, the suspicion Kaede now leveled with Momoko a symptom. “Rena doesn’t trust me,” she confessed, leaning away from her, into the sofa. Momoko’s eyes followed wide, otherwise speechless. “And Rena hates that she doesn’t, and I can’t help but feel like part of it comes from this… this annoying habit of hers.” 

Momoko said nothing. For several seconds, she still said nothing. Kaede looked from the ceiling to her elder, the high school senior staring a thousand miles downward into her denim-clad lap. With a start, Momoko looked up as if just realizing she was sitting with Kaede. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” she sighed, half in thought. “‘Cuz Rena, she…” Kaede’s ears perked up, and not because it was about Rena; she kept her sights set on Momoko’s roving gaze. “Rena-chan didn’t tell me a whole lot, but she did say some kinda nonsense about her trust: that she believes what you’re saying, but there’s this… like this ‘part’ of her that can’t. I don’t get it, frankly. Either she trusts you or she doesn’t, and she can’t seem to decide for herself.” 

“Yeah,” sighed Kaede. “I know what you're talking about. Sadly, that’s Rena for ya: she wants to be happy but she’s afraid of getting hurt, I guess. It’s like she’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that would be losing the two of us.” 

“...Yeah.” 

“That ‘part’ is the old Rena, before she was a magical girl: friendless, bullied, depressed… suicidal.” 

“Hey, woah!” Momoko blanched on the spot, smacking herself on the forehead. “Uh, y-you shouldn’t just share something that personal with anybody!” 

“I haven’t. I shared it with Momoko.” 

Said girl tore away, tinted red in the face. “Rena’d probably be pissed if she knew,” Momoko told her lap. 

“Then hopefully Rena would remember I’m just as paranoid as she is. That despite always telling me she’s happy and getting better, there’s this uncontrollable piece of the old Kaede—emotional, overthinking, pessimistic Kaede—absolutely terrified by the possibility that she’s lying for my sake. So terrified, in fact, that old Kaede makes me do stupid, selfish things like risk our fragile trust here and now because I wanted Momoko’s advice.” _In the off-chance you really are Rena in disguise._ Kaede sat up, tucked her hands in the heat of her thighs. Momoko's lips were pursed, her brows knitted. “How do I get Rena to realize that she’s someone worth all the trouble? How do I get Rena to accept that I love her for who she is?” 

Momoko searched Kaede’s face, and the wet warmth tickling her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she murmured faintly, as if in thought, or still reeling from what Kaede had said. “I’m sorry. I’m—I don’t know how, Kaede.” A swallow. “It sounds to me like you’ve done all you could, and now the rest is on her.” 

Momoko gulped, her eyes falling, staring through Kaede’s lap. “I think,” she continued, “I think I get it now - Rena's realized this, too… M-maybe that’s why she feels like a lost cause: cuz she can't do anything more.” 

Oh.

So, Rena felt like a lost cause, apparently.

There was so much going on, both spoken aloud and lurking between the lines that were Momoko’s behavior and the flow of conversation (or perhaps not, perhaps this _was_ just Momoko as previously concluded, and that was the worst part of all this - not knowing the difference between her best friend and her girlfriend here and now). Coupled with emotions dredged up _just_ after burying them in bonsai trimming, Kaede had to face the facts that she really was a worthless girlfriend. 

Good thing she made peace with that one year ago. Didn't make it hurt less, but made it easier to push it out of mind. 

So much was going on in Kaede, she almost missed the new information Momoko had shared: “Sh-she said she feels like a lost cause?” Heart-wrenchingly, that was nothing new. More specifically: “She said she feels that way about our relationship?” 

“Moreso herself, I’d say.” Momoko stretched her arms, her shoulders, her chest thrusting out as she exhaled. “You know how Rena is: too scared to say how she really feels, so she does stupid and hurtful things to get the point across—and an effect she knows is coming.” 

“I don’t think Rena’s thinking about what’ll happen when she reacts the way she does. It’s kinda off the cuff, usually.” 

Momoko reeled her leg into the sofa, hugging it beneath her chin. “Naw, nah, you’re right, it’s not like she plans this stuff. We never do when it comes to our emotions, you know?” 

Kaede fell back, scratching beneath a pigtail. Momoko followed like a falling Jenga tower, hugging both her legs. “So… you think Rena does these things subconsciously?” 

“I’m not a therapist, Kaede-chan. I barely understand psychology. I’m just saying that Rena’s mistrust is comin’ from a place of fear, ‘cause it’s new for her, since she’s used to just blurting out her feelings and pushin’ bullies away.” 

“That’s just a long version of what I said, Momoko: old Rena is still a part of her. I make it sound bad, to be honest, but Rena’s gotten so much better in every way since we… well, I was gonna say since we started dating, but she started improving long before that.” 

“You think so?” 

“No.” Her smile turned on Momoko’s concern. “I know so. Rena has these episodes feeling like she’s just as, um, ‘shitty’ as she used to be; and I’m sure Rena doesn’t believe me when I try proving otherwise since these thoughts never go away. But she’s better. She is absolutely better, at least with me and you, too, it seems." Kaede's brain noted the tremble in Momoko's lips, but her heart was on too great a roll to stop: "She’s more relaxed, open about her feelings, aware of her faults, she—sh-she…” 

Togame Momoko clapped a hand across her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry!” Tears rolled around her fingers, welled a little upon her wrist. 

This was Rena. It had to be Rena. Kaede had her suspicions throughout, but now she was sure: it was definitely Rena. Had to be. 

But then Momoko snuffled, lifted her head. Turned. And looked Kaede in the eye with hers so red they would’ve looked enraged if not for the sticky sheen coating her cheeks. 

“You’re really friggin’ amazing, Kaede-chan,” she uttered in a hoarse tone that booked no argument. “Rena-chan doesn’t know how lucky she is, but I do.” 

“Oh, she does.” Kaede wasn’t trying to be coy here—whether or not this was her girlfriend in disguise, she knew that Rena was fully aware of her luck. After all, she’d often announce some variation of this, usually in the afterglow of lovemaking. “I’d say I’m more lucky, though. And I get what Rena’s always telling me, I get that everyone has their preferences.” Physically and personality-wise. “I do. I get it. It’s just that…” Kaede shrugged. “I just don’t got a lot going for me. I may be just the right kind of personality for Rena, but I always feel that nine times out of ten, if she were to meet a better version of me, she’d take it in a heartbeat.” 

“W-woah, uh... what, uh, what makes you think that?” 

“Nothing specific,” Kaede told her friend’s quiet appalment. “It’s hypothetical. Consider this…” The awful thoughts which haunted Kaede in the quiet hours after a failed joke, or an argument with Rena, surfaced their gruesome mug. “Consider this,” she continued, “consider she meets someone who looks, sounds, and acts exactly like me, except she was great at fighting. Or how about Rena crossing paths with a perfect mirror copy of me, except she can always say the right thing that gets Rena to love herself again. Wait, last one,” she said to Momoko’s raised finger, her inhale of objection. “A girl who is the exact same as me, internally. But outside, I look like you, or Coordinator-san, but I still dress in the same outfit Rena loves—poncho, shorts, the whole thing… That’s it, by the way. Sorry for going off there.” Kaede scratched her cheek. “See what I meant earlier, now, Momoko? I would’ve been just as much of a headache as I’m making Rena out to be. Only difference between us, really, is that I’m not as honest. Not about the really gross stuff. Rena, yeah, she doesn’t either but you could tell from the way she acts that that’s how she is.” 

“Y-yeah.” 

“But me? Well, I’ve just made my point, just now, actually: I have so _little_ going on outside of the things I can offer you and Rena, good and bad, that it’s just not hard to find someone who reaches the same low bar I set and surpasses it.” 

Momoko didn’t look like she had anything to say, now. Now, her face resembled curdled milk, and looked as if she was about to puke from sipping the stuff. Kaede went to apologize for force-feeding Momoko spoiled milk—“You’re an amazing person, Kaede chan," she said as if realizing this. "You really can’t see that, can you?” 

A hapless shrug; this was familiar, but it was expected from Momoko, the most expected thing she’d done since entering the Akino apartment. “I just do what any decent person would do, Momoko. You’re no different, except you’re irrefutably gorgeous.” 

“Ah-h’ah. H’ah.” An awkward laugh, coupled with a scratch of the cheek; it just hit Kaede who she was talking to, what she just said. This wasn’t Rena, it was Momoko. “Uh, no one’s ever called me anything like that before.” Blushing, she looked up—meeting Kaede’s eyes. Momoko was so close that Kaede, after two years, noticed the ghost of a freckle dusting cushioning her warm eyes. “Thanks, Kaede-chan. I know there was nothing romantic there, but it means a lot coming from you.” 

Kaede smiled, leaning her head aside, into the sofa. “You really can do better than me, Momoko. I’m sure you’ll find someone.” 

“I doubt I’ll find another girl who’s kind, wise, patient, funny, and is cute as a button and also a kickass magical girl,” she finished with a wink. 

Giggles burst from Kaede’s lips, smothered immediately. 

Literal seconds ago, her heart was heavier than it has been in a while. 

Seconds ago, her confidence was at zero, as always when she wasn’t given immediate praise by Minami Rena. 

Seconds ago, Kaede had zero clue—not even an inkling, so much so she never once entertained the notion until today—as to how Momoko saw a romantic partner in a miserable ball of nerves like her. Now, it made a little more sense somehow. 

“Stop saying that, Momoko!” Kaede laughed, her elder just smiling like it was nothing. “Jeez, you’re going to get my hopes up.” 

Momoko’s hearty chuckle joined her laughter, dying before Kaede could control her giddiness. _I never realized how nice it is to be complimented by someone who isn’t family._ Rena counted as family in her mind. 

“Kaede.” Momoko cocked her head, smirking, fully facing Kaede with one leg ensnared in her arm. She could always look cool without ever trying. “I’m sorry I dropped a love confession on you today. With everything you got going on with Rena, it’s become crystal clear that my selfishness didja no favors.” 

“No, no, it’s okay, really! We had such a unique conversation today, I feel like we’ve grown even closer because of it!”  
  


Momoko’s smile receded slightly. “You’re really kind.” It looked so forced now. 

“I just love having friends like you and Rena,” Kaede explained. “Friends with meaningful bonds instead of something superficial.” 

“Hey, Kaede?” Momoko said suddenly. Her eyes were off to the side. “Can I ask you something… a little bit selfish? Kinda weird— _really_ weird, honestly—but it’d do my heart some good if I left here with… I dunno, something more than a broken heart.” 

This conversation was about to go in what would be a weird direction to outsiders. But Kaede understood. She herself knew just how satisfying it was to be given confirmation outright instead of parting ways with a personal bias-tainted implication. 

After all, Momoko had just given a robust compliment, which on paper was far more than Rena’s sputtering, muttering, blushy little observations. 

“Of course, Momoko. If it’ll help you feel better, then I can do anything.” 

“Thanks.” Her face kept to the side, unreadable. “Kaede… if you and Rena never got together, you think we could’ve had a chance?” 

A fair question, one that had been sitting in the back of Kaede’s mind since Momoko confessed several minutes ago: a genuinely plausible ‘what-if?’ 

“It’s hard to say, Momoko,” she thought aloud. “That’s not a no, but it isn’t a definite yes neither. I never once thought of you that way, that’s the thing. That’s not to say I wouldn’t ever, but… part of what brought Rena and I together was… _us_ , you know? We’re both so similar we couldn’t help but try and support one another.” 

“And… you don’t know me as well. So it’s really hard to say.” Momoko watched Kaede nod from the corner of her eye, then turned her head fully back around. “So, purely hypothetical, but what if I were just like you and Rena, as open as the two o’ ya are around each other?” 

Kaede suddenly felt cold despite the autumn warmth. “Like, if I would abandon Rena for you, like I’m afraid _she_ will down the line?” The churning stomach of disgust, the aching heart of heartbreak, the scorching fury creeping up her nerves—Kaede couldn’t help but feel this way as she spoke. “Momoko, that’s a horrible thing to ask! You should know the answer!” 

“No, no, let me finish!” Something about that felt off, but Momoko continued before Kaede could analyze, “I’m just asking if you’d, you know, even a little bit… if we were so familiar with one another, that you’d…” A big shrug. “I dunno! I dunno what I’m asking here, Kaede, because it just sounds horrible. I’m only wondering if you’d even think about taking that opportunity if Rena ever became too much to deal with. That’s all I wanna know, it doesn’t even have to be me.” 

So it was a question of loyalty. 

Huh. 

Kaede didn’t miss a beat, because she had pondered Momoko’s exact question even before that fateful evening: “I made a promise to Rena the night we took each other’s virginities.” Momoko swallowed, something about that was painful on the heart. “I promised her that if I ever got to the point where I felt too overwhelmed, that I wanted to break up with her, then it would be because of a failing on my part, not hers.” 

“How even?” Momoko snapped, not aggressively but tiredly. Like she was done with this conversation, or Kaede’s answers. 

Either way, it was weird—that was Kaede’s gut reaction a beat before responding. “When we started dating, I made a similar problem to myself. See, Rena is better than me in so many ways. So many that I didn’t know what she saw in me, but I did know of one going into it. I elected to support Rena where she struggles, and it seems she made herself the same promise. So, if our relationship were to fail, I’d personally shoulder most of the blame. Because it’s my self-appointed duty to open a dialogue when Rena can’t.” 

“From what you’re telling me, though, it doesn’t seem to work out.” Momoko hunched forward, brows knitted. “Kaede-chan, you _sure_ everything’s okay?” Her hand, her concern, radiated in the gentleness with which she pat Kaede’s head. “The last thing I want is the two o’ you being unhappy, and if you’re forcing yourself to make a failing relationship work, Kaede, well—” 

Kaede straightened steel-stiff, snapping away from Momoko’s touch. “I appreciate your concern, Momoko,” she said, “but our relationship _does_ work. You might not know because you’ve never been in one—” 

“Oi.” 

“—sorry, but romance really is a garden of roses. I know the saying is that it’s not, but the way I see it: it’s work like one, hard to get right and more often than not you’ll hurt yourself trying to nurture it. But it is beautiful in the end, and you do it because you like what comes of the hard work.” 

“Rena isn’t that hard work, by the way; and neither is lighter stress and an anxiety-free relationship the beautiful flower bed I’m rewarded with. She isn’t just the thorns or the dirt or the pests or the weeds. That’s all part of the job, and I know for a fact that I’m no better. No, my flower bed—after all of that—is Rena’s happiness. Even if its fleeting, even if she’s guaranteed to relapse again and again ‘till we’re old and gray, I’d still do what I can to make my garden beautiful.” 

“Because she’s worth it. So please, Momoko, don’t you ever imply that I’m forcing myself to make it work again. So long as Rena is willing, I am, too. And it’s a good thing I am, because there’s no one I love the way I love Rena.” 

Momoko blinked, swallowed, her hand balling as it lowered onto her lap. “I overstepped. I’m sorry, Kaede-chan.” A forced laugh out her nose. “This’s why I never felt comfortable tryna get all feelsy with you guys.” Momoko folded her arms—gripped them for security, actually. “I’m as graceful at this as I am at dancing.” 

“You’re better at this then you know. Believe me—ask Rena.” 

“Ah. She talked about when I caught her disguised as you, when you first joined the team?” 

Kaede nodded. “She tells me everything.” Momoko’s sad smile fell, leaving her just plain sad. “At least, I think she does,” Kaede amended, realizing Momoko might have actually told Rena some truly personal stuff. “I don’t know what she’d hide given the things we’ve shared, but in the end, that’s her business.” 

Momoko cocked her head. “You’re not jealous?” 

“Eh, I am a little. But like I said, that’s her business. In the end, that’s the most control a significant other should have on another’s life. I just hope Rena isn’t hiding anything that would be more harmful than if she just talked to me.” 

“Hm.” Momoko looked distant again, the hand propped on her knee’s peak bouncing mindlessly. 

“Is something the matter?” Kaede leaned in, sliding her kneeling self down the couch. 

Momoko straightened, a smile trying to form but dying, burning in the heat of glowing-hot crimson filling her cheeks. “Uh, Kaede? Last… last question, yeah.” 

She looked like Rena after she was allowed permission to do something perverted. 

Kaede snorted. “I hope that blush isn’t a question about our bedroom escapes.” 

“Heck no. Heck no!” Momoko was grinning as she shook her head. “Naw, nah, nah. But… it is a little along those lines. Not really, but… look, you don’t have to agree if there’s even a single part of you not comfortable with this idea.” 

The first thing to travel from her gut reaction to her brain was the idea of Momoko asking if Kaede could transform into her belly-baring druidess cloak. Like Rena—and it took Kaede weeks after to forget her girlfriend’s kink in the heat of battle, when she was strutting it in front of her and Momoko was none the wiser. 

If both had the same fetish... Well, not only would it make Witch Hunting impossible, but Rena and Momoko would never look at each other the same way again if the coming act was disclosed. 

“Kaede?” 

“Fweh?!” 

“You had a thousand-yard stare after I…” Momoko shook her head, shot up from the couch, her tight tee riding part way up her torso. “Look, like I said, you don’t have to agree to it. I shouldn’t have even brought this up, honestly—”

Kaede grabbed her by the wrist as she passed by, as if trying to leave and run from the shame of her request, on top of all her social bungles from the last twenty minutes, big and small. 

“Please, Momoko. Whatever it is, the worst I’ll have is a kneejerk reaction and then we’ll go back to being friends.” She simply gazed aside, saying nothing. “You’re too important to me for a love confession to change our friendship, at least on my end.” Though it felt like she was strong enough to guide her, Momoko only budged as she wordlessly returned to her spot on the sofa. 

“Alright. Okay. So…” She swiftly faced Kaede, her ponytail swinging. “So,” Momoko drawled, rubbing her bicep in a manner which fluffed up her _brea-Stop it, Kaede!_ “I was wondering, Kaede-chan, if—before I leave—if you could…” Hesitating, biting her lip— _biting her lip what—_ leaning close, enough for a blush to deepen; enough for her freckles to be visible. 

Rena was right: Momoko really was a bombshell. 

“Just say it,” Kaede begged, purely aching for the needless turmoil Momoko was putting herself through. “I won’t judge you or be mad, I promise.” 

Momoko’s face dropped, blowing like blacksmith bellows. “Alright. If you ain’t judgin’.” Momoko lifted her ruddy, freckled face with her sweet little smile. “Kaede-chan, just this once, if you’re okay with it… I’d be really, really happy if we could… if we could, you know… you know, _kiss_.” Kaede’s jaw dropped, Momoko bared her grin in turn, toothy and pained, pointed towards. “Only one, o-on-on the lips. Just to know what it’s like kissing the girl I’ve fallen for, that’s all.” 

Kaede tried to collect her feelings on the matter, much less her thoughts. 

And how stupid she could be sometimes—Momoko, like anybody in this situation would, scrambled to backpedal, reading the reaction as shock in solely disgusted terms. “You know what? Forget it, forget it! It was a joke,” she stammered, “just a dumb joke.” 

“S-sure.” 

“Wha—huh?” 

Kaede realized she was looking Momoko right in her stupefied eyes. She realized what her heart had said before her brain could fully comprehend what Momoko wanted to do with her—the very thing it took three dates full of almosts and awkwardness for Kaede and Rena to share. 

And really, it was such a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, with only as much meaning as those acting upon it. Plus, girls in anime and manga seemed to play around all the time, groping each other and whatnot (Kaede had to assume this was at the very least an old wives’ tales of sorts, somewhat rooted in reality; it’s not like she was ever a part of such revelry). So... a kiss was just a kiss, Kaede decided on the spot, and Momoko her beautiful best friend who wouldn’t share this with a single soul if it turned out this really was her. 

And if this was Rena, well... whatever she was trying to achieve here, Kaede wasn't going to allow any room for misinterpretation. _Yeah, still 50/50 on that._ Either this was real, or Rena got really good at acting and hatched a convoluted scheme in order to get some dirt on Kaede. By this point, it was either of the two. 

“Rena is my girlfriend,” Kaede stressed, “I love her, Momoko.” 

“Hey, now.” Tan, natural color, returned bleeding into her cheeks alongside a smile. “This is me you’re talking to. I’m not tryna ruin what you guys have.” 

Then what the actual hell was she expecting in confessing her love—?! _No, breathe. No, breathe. Relax, Kaede. Your heart’s going a million miles per hour, even though you KNOW Momoko. She clearly couldn’t hold her feelings in any longer without letting them be known. It’s why she, assuming it’s her, came here in the first place._

That was looking even more likely by the second—that this was Togame Momoko, inside and out. She was too Momoko-like and unlike Rena to be the girlfriend in question, and her motives if she WERE said girlfriend just... didn't seem to have a point, everything considered at once. 

“Uh, do… do ya like whatcha see?” 

“Huh?” Kaede blinked, and found her gaze having inadvertently settled on Momoko’s forearm-propped bosom. Kaede crossed her arms over her face. “Eh, I’m sorry! Uh! Um, I mean, yes! Yes, yes I do! _I mean—!_ ” She turned away, hands replacing forearms, looking between palms and Momoko and then her curves practically on repeat. _“Momoko!”_ Kaede cried hollowly in her fingers. _“You’re genuinely attractive to both Rena and me, but please stop teasing me with your boobs or else I won’t be able to help myself!”_

“Uhh…” Momoko snorted. “Thanks, I think. Sorry, it’s not that you’re weird or anything like that. I just didn’t think you were that kind of person.” 

“Rena calls me a pervy old man. Even though she likes it.” Through her fingers, Kaede saw Momoko looking as red as she herself felt, scratching the back of her head whilst modestly hiking up her top. It was a futile effort, the swell of her chest fighting for freedom, but at least she was no longer halfway to spilling out. 

Kaede slapped her hands dully against her thighs. “Um, M-M-Momo-m-moko?” The blonde beauty cocked her head; it was unbearable to see, to think about her judgement—regardless of how unlikely. “S-so, uh, i-i-if you’re… if you’re… _if you’re ready then I—!_ ” 

The cushion before Kaede dipped, and the citrus-and-sweat aura of Momoko flooded her nose, softened her brain, awakened a feeding frenzy of emotion within. “Alright, Kaede, I won’t make ya suffer this strangeness for another minute,” Momoko said, just as gruffly lifting Kaede by her jawline, looking down upon her because she was always far taller.

And swooping in, lips capturing Kaede’s. 

The feeding frenzy erupted into a full-blown zombie outbreak, so bad it hurt yet so indescribably blissful it was like kissing Rena for the first time again. It just _felt_ —Kaede felt enough to moan into Momoko’s mouth, buck her hips outward, and wrap what still had strength around her shoulders for support.

Momoko suddenly broke, panted, looked Kaede in the eye and rejoined her, cocked fro. _Wait… that was another kiss, wasn’t it?_ How long did Momoko think it lasted? 

Thick, warm pythons caressed Kaede entirely, hugging her close. Close! So close Kaede’s breasts went alight with feeling, a pressure—pressure from Momoko’s Rena-grade boobs practically pancaked between them. A warm, soft expanse enveloped Kaede's belly. Momoko’s own, she was gigantic all of a sudden; not just in terms of height, but in every way. From her body shape to her muscle mass, their gorgeous leader was simply _big_ in every way; from the spillage of excess breast fat on her sides, which gave Kaede’s pelvis some breathing room as Momoko buckled to her touch, to her figure’s perfect, firm hourglass unlike the still-developing, baby fat-hewn curves of Rena. 

This was wonderful. It was. Kaede couldn’t lie, and her hands nor her moaning couldn’t either. Blown to lumps of grey matter, ever-increasing with every smack of parting lips, Kaede’s brain struggled to literally get her priorities straight: she was awful for accepting this, awful for feeling good, awful for not stopping it, awful for kind of liking it, awful for getting so aroused by her and her girlfriend’s best friend, awful for cheating on Rena, awful for cheating on Rena, fucking awful for cheating on Rena. 

But damn did it feel like kissing her—a bigger version of her, but Rena to be sure. 

Except, no. 

No, this wasn’t Rena! It just felt like her, and Kaede kept her eyes shut the entire time! Rena had messy blue hair, not thick golden blonde; she was paler than this, had no freckles, and sometimes when Kaede would open her eyes mid-kiss she would find Rena’s gazing right into hers, and they would break apart sputtering with laughter. It wasn’t all the time, but this would’ve been one of them if it was her girlfriend she was kissing right now. 

_Stop this._ Kaede’s lips were numb, her mouth soaked, reeking of spit her brain didn’t recognize and smelled vaguely of Momoko. _I have t-t-TO—!_ Kaede squeaked into a squeal as a hand clapped upon her jean shorts, felt around a cheek, and then—! Stars. Kaede blinked and stars briefly dotted the beige walls of her apartment with every bat of the eye. 

She almost didn’t want Momoko to stop strangling her, twisting her ass one way and the other, clenching and unclenching her hand. “St’ah… _sto’h…_ ” 

Momoko’s lips were in her ear, hot and goosebump-inducing: “Kaede-chan, m’not wearing a bra.” Kaede’s eyes popped open; she barely felt Momoko’s hand on her ass anymore, kneading it like pizza dough, reaching deep within the nerves of her copious cushion-flesh. “You can feel me if you want, Kaede-chan.” 

“Momoko, no…” she managed.

She peeled her body away, grabbing Kaede by the wrist. “I really don’t mind,” she breathed in her ear. “Rena’ll never know.” Kaede's hand was caressed in cloth, nails catching on fabric briefly before her hand caught warmth. Scorching hot, softness, yet a familiar, fleshy heaviness. Kaede’s fingertips filled first, then her palm. Then between her fingers, and she could tell there was more of Momoko to be had. “Rena’ll,” she choked, her voice wavering with Kaede’s automatic squeezing, “she'll never _know..._ if we go further. She’ll never _know-! N_ 'oh matter how many times w-we do it!” 

_KAEDE, NO!_

“It was just supposed to be a kiss,” she confessed to her fingertips, peeking nails-first from the dip in Momoko’s shirt, closed around a fleshy globe. “S’posed to be a kiss, Momoko.” The arousal-drunk words left her brain. A protest: they were finally spoken. Kaede did it. But Momoko wasn't stopping. Nothing was stopping. “Stop… please.” 

Kaede didn’t want this. And because she didn’t, some blessed part of her self-control didn’t allow pleasure to blossom throughout her bosom as Momoko’s hand closed around a teat. It just hurt, like one of Rena’s mean little pinches. 

“Momoko,” she moaned into her ear, “I really don’t want this—”

“No!” Kaede’s cheeks were grabbed in one hand, the other twisting her nipple. “It’s too late!” Momoko lunged forth, lips-first, and tears in her eyes. 

_“I!”_ A fist was clenched.

_“SAID!”_ Reared back. **_“_**

**_‘NO!’”_ **And smashed Momoko right in her flawless face.

Kaede saw for half an instant eyes bulging from their sockets, comprehending the fact that the shitty girlfriend, weak little Akino Kaede, had just decked Momoko hard enough to send her sprawling into the sofa. All at once, Kaede wasn’t being touched anywhere, but instead of feeling want, there were spiders skittering all over. Kaede shuddered, scratching, practically gouging herself clean of the ghost of Momoko’s touch along her face, neck, chest, and rump. Her lips she scrubbed hard with the back of her hand. 

All of this happened before Momoko could pick herself up. 

But the instant Kaede saw the bitch before her twitch: “You drop the fucking act _now_ , Rena!” 

For a moment, Momoko was gazing upon her, jaw massage frozen mid-ministration. For a moment, there was no uncharacteristic outburst. For a moment, Kaede’s insides collapsed entirely under the thought that she had cheated on Rena. 

Two seconds after making her demand, however, Kaede was glaring up at a furious Momoko. “You knew the whole time?!” 

“More or less!” 

In a blue flash, Momoko was Rena, but that same bloodthirsty scowl was still in place. “Bull-fucking-shit! You—!” 

“ _YOU h_ _eard_ every _word I'd said to someone I was_ pretty sure _was Momoko!_ There ya go, Rena! Mission accomplished! I’m not the manipulative flake of a girl you trust so little—!”

“Oh, don’t even _start_ putting all the blame on me!” 

“Uh, I can and I will?” 

“Fuck off, you know what I’m saying! You know I’m talking about how you figured out it was me, but decided not to let it end until it got too much! How’m I supposed to read that, huh? That you were just saying what you knew I wanted to hear?!” 

Why was SHE the one getting angry?! “Yeah, fine! I’ll be honest: I didn’t know _for sure_ until the very end. But you were suspicious before I even opened my dang door! No matter what it was about, Momoko would _never_ just show up at my apartment unannounced. Oh, and she wouldn’t be showing off so much cleavage either unless we were at the beach! So, gold star on the costume choice, Rena-chan!” Kaede sneered in her face. Something beat her in the chest, shoving her away. 

Rena was suddenly in her face and she couldn’t breathe by the way she held Kaede by the collar. “Didn’t know ‘til the very end, huh? How friggin’ convenient.” 

“How even?” 

“You tell me. You were really enjoying the fantasy of kissing Momoko, squeezing her damn tit, you… you backstabbing _whore_.”

_SMACK!_

Rena’s face snapped back to Kaede’s, slack with shock and glowing half-pink. Her fingers rose, reaching for the hand print as if to validate its existence, what had just transpired. 

Kaede knew exactly how she felt. 

She gazed down upon the offending hand, slightly pink in the palm, though it definitely could have been that way before. 

But Rena had just used Momoko’s face for the sake of gauging her girlfriend’s honesty. This was so obvious in retrospect that Kaede really should have realized from the start, what with “Momoko’s” suspicious alibi and sudden profession of love. That’s another thing Rena had used: betting on Kaede’s inability to question a friend in need. And all for the sake of staving off her damn insecurities! It’s like what Rena herself had theorized earlier about her bad habit—only this time, instead of bullies, she was subconsciously finagling a way out of this relationship. Then, she would at least have control over its end, rather than waiting for the guillotine to drop on her neck. 

Or rather, Kaede to stomp on her heart. 

_All because she can’t trust me!_

**_SMACK! SMACK! SSSMACK!_ **Rena thrashed from side to side, practically spinning a full 360 on that last hit, but she only made it 180 before collapsing on the sofa. 

“The first one,” Kaede heard herself speak, in a tone ragged with rage, exhaustion, and pity, “was for calling me that nasty word. I know you’re angry right now, but once you cool off, then you’ll realize just how badly you messed up. The other three were for that, because you manipulated and then molested me in order to validate your twisted lack of trust.” 

  
“That was disgusting, Minami-san.” The girl stiffened into a statue; yeah, she deserved to think that they were through, if only for a minute. “It’s beyond repulsive. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if most people broke up with you here and now. But as quote-unquote, ‘Momoko,’ so kindly concerned herself over—for the first time doubting my judgement and inner strength, might I add—I look at the two of us here and now, and I _still_ don’t consider us to be a failing relationship.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Rena grumbled. 

She knew how she meant it, but Kaede couldn’t resist putting her idiot currently-shitty girlfriend through the ringer: “Do you _want_ to break up?” 

“Clearly.” Rena turned her glowing cheek, her peripheral gaze, on Kaede, then returned to the sofa’s back cushion. “Accepting what I just did without any punishment? That’s the sign of an abusive relationship.” 

“I just slapped you into next week four times in a row. That was your punishment, at least part of it. Breaking up will help neither of us, and despite everything, you nor I want that.” Kaede joined her at her side, where she could see Rena wincing as tears tickled her new sunset-red tattoos. “You don’t need to explain yourself,” Kaede said, drawing her side gaze. She hoped Rena saw the hurt in Kaede’s eyes. “I pieced together everything already: what you asked, how you acted. The 'why' of it all.” 

Rena’s crumpling face wrenched away; she had the nerve to keep her tears in. Her pride was truly on another level. “It means jack, but, I’m sorry. M'sorry m'so... so fucking _fucked_.” 

“Are you sorry because I’m mad? Or are you sorry because you hurt me and the trust I had in you?” Kaede already knew, but the proverbial ringer was starved. 

Rena's lips wobbled, her eyes glaring straight ahead. Rena couldn’t bring herself to say it—at least that meant it hurt. In this scenario, worry and rage was warranted the day she decided to stop caring about anything. 

Kaede lowered her face into Rena’s shoulder, midway through her travel deciding to roll up a sleeve to kiss Rena’s skinny upper arm. “That was your goodbye kiss. I’m too angry right now to do it, but I know I'll forgive you. Eventually.” When Rena said nothing, Kaede hugged her shoulders. Still no objections, not even a reaction. “Rena? You know I forgive you, right?” 

She shrugged out of Kaede’s hug with a whimper, crossed her arms upon the sofa in lieu of a delinquent demanded that they put their head down on a desk. 

“I’m a piece of garbage who should kill herself.” 

This was new for them, but Kaede had always been on alert for it in times like these: “Then I’ll go as far as biting your finger off to grab your ring. Don’t think I wouldn’t do it, Rena. I’m crazy about you.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

The tickle of laughter arose, but everything else felt so severely heavy. Too heavy for jokes, especially with Rena actually being serious. “If you’re thinking about suicide tonight, then you’ll either be short a finger or receive the quickest loss you will ever have against my vines. I'd have to stay close by if it comes to that, you’ll have to talk to me, and, even if it takes a hundred years, you’ll eventually come to believe me when I say I love you.” 

Rena lifted her face—still as pained as Momoko’s had been the whole time. “You _know_ it’s not like that, you even said to Momo—!” 

“I _do_ know it’s not like that, Rena! I’d always known that you believed my feelings, that your mistrust is nothing personal!” This was the last time they were going to have this conversation, Kaede decided as she shot up, towering over Rena. “But the very fact that it _isn’t_ personal makes it so hard for you to grow and get over it! And I _get_ that this was your attempt to overcome it in your own way, without my help. But guess what? It’s not gonna matter! It’s not gonna amount to _anything_ but another bad memory between us, because your brain’ll _definitely_ find a way to twist everything I said to Momoko into something you have no choice but to disbelieve.” 

“Kaede.” 

“I wonder what it’ll be this time? Maybe you’ll convince yourself that I’m this great actress who only pushed ‘Momoko’ away once it became obvious you weren’t keeping up the charade! Oh! What about Momoko herself? Maybe _she_ betrayed you and warned me ahead of time, and I decided to have a go playing around with my girlfriend’s feelings, ‘cause _that’s_ in-line with my personality, for sure!” Kaede shook her head, ran her fingers through her hair: everything about this exchange, now that the truth was revealed, was put in a new light. A super shitty one. “Momoko wouldn’t even be half as nosy and judgemental as you were making her out to be. But you’ve improved a lot, Rena-chan! Wow, I pretty much bought it as the conversation went on! What lie did you tell Momoko to get her on board with _this,_ I wonder? You've obviously got some training in with her.” 

Rena's face was tilted to the floor. “That you were cheating,” was what she might have mumbled. 

“Eh?” 

She lifted her gaze, looked Kaede dead in the eye, and snarled: “I _told_ Momoko that I _thought_ you were _cheating!_ ” 

“Why? _How?!_ With _who?!_ ” 

Rena counted on three fingers: “Because I’m me and I do shit like this. Because you’re you and everybody loves you. And also, with Momoko.” 

“You’re mistrusting _Momoko_ now?!” 

“No! I _know_ she’s not like that, and I know you wouldn’t actively go out to cheat on me, neither! I’m not _that_ paranoid.” 

Which means she is “that” paranoid, but Kaede kept it in. Rena needed to say this, for sure. “Then… what made you think that I… _would_ , I guess, cheat on you with Momoko if given the chance?” Rena inhaled, lips parting. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna slap you again if you believe there was anything remotely romantic in giving Momoko what I thought was gonna be a peck on the lips.” 

Rena inhaled once more. Kaede added, “Also, you how I am in… you know, in bed. Take that into consideration. P-please.” 

Her girlfriend huffed, an invisible smirk only visible to those who knew her well. “I’ll own that. You’re so easy to get worked up. And once you start you can’t stop.” 

“Kinda ruined your own plan there, Rena.” 

“I did. When you accepted my request, I was so angry that I just… assumed you wanted to go all the way with Momoko.” 

Kaede rubbed circles in her back. “What on Earth is with you and Momoko?” Their dynamic hadn’t changed at all since Kaede and Rena got together, though, and Rena spent as much time alone with Momoko as Kaede had, as a group, and less so than they each other. And Momoko had assured them both up and down that she didn’t feel like a third wheel, and they believed her—Momoko was never one to get jealous. Bitter, sure, but if she wasn’t the type to get jealous, she most certainly wasn’t the type to let her passion go unheard. 

It’s no wonder a pair of broken girls flourished so well under her. 

Rena had yet to say anything. Times like these had Kaede wishing Momoko were here to help. “Are we… are we getting too _close,_ or something? Momoko and I?” she wondered. 

Swallowing, Rena shook her head. “It’s so stupid. It always was.” She had always been quick to recognize and acknowledge her shitty behavior.

“Brushing it under the rug is leaving me in the dark, Rena. I need to know what’s bothering you so I can take steps in the future to be more mindful.” 

“Well, _I_ need to know why you’re such a damn perfect girlfriend, not to mention wasting your time with cancer like me.” The former part of that sentence echoed more than one moment in her time playing Momoko. 

Kaede sighed at the latter half. “Honestly, were you only half-listening to the things I said?” Rena continued being sullen and silent. “Please turn around and face me, Rena-chan.” 

She did, waddling in place on her knees. Her chest in this stupid low-cut top bounced absurdly in the peripherals of Kaede’s laser-focused stare into Rena’s eyes. “You hate yourself now, but I promise Rena, that one day, you’ll see the wonderful—albeit troubled person—that I do. Just as I’m sure that, one day, I’ll see this amazing girlfriend you keep on telling me, Momoko, and whoever else about.” 

Rena balled her fists, her brows knitting. “Kaede—!” she objected. 

A hand was faster, pursing her lips shut. Kaede removed it, smiling with all the love she could muster in this situation (which she found was actually quite a lot now that she was able to vent some). “You label yourself a fake, nasty piece of garbage, unable to fully trust your girlfriend when she says, ‘I love you.’ And I’m a worthless, clingy crybaby who can’t even earn your trust, no matter what I do.” 

“But, Kaede, that’s all me!” Rena slapped herself on the stomach. “My fucked-upness, mine! Just stop being a martyr already, I hate those—let me be responsible for myself.” 

She shook her head, her smile even easier to maintain. “You are. You’ve always been, and despite all the support you got, you’ve always allowed yourself to grow. But you remember, my analogy with the rose garden? Despite what I said, no one and nothing can succeed without help.” 

“How deep. You fancy yourself a writer?” 

“No, but I do know a thing or two about gardening.” Kaede reached forth, taking Rena’s hand and raising it to her surprised, glassy-eyed face. “But I don’t know a thing about what started all of this. Help me understand, Rena-chan: what did I do to make you think I’d leave you for Momoko?” 

“It’s not just about Momoko!” Rena snapped before wincing apologetically. “It’s… anybody. Anyone who’s better than me when it comes to looks. I’d say personality, but pretty much everyone you know—any magical girl in Kamihama—beats me bloody on _that_ front.” 

If she hadn’t mentioned looks, Kaede would have foolishly believed the heart of the matter lied in Rena’s tangled, multifaceted web of low self-esteem. “I can admire people’s looks, Rena-chan. And yeah, Momoko is definitely the most beautiful person I’d ever met.” 

She got a nasty glare thrown her way. “Most significant others would say their girlfriend if they wanna live longer.” 

“Except when I did, you denied it so vehemently that we got into a fight over who was prettier: you or Momoko. And you convinced me that it was Momoko, remember?” 

Rena scoffed. “I can’t believe you still remember such a dumb thing.” 

“Well, I can’t believe you’re so paranoid and somehow managed to forget what might have been a link to your problem here.” 

“Okay, fine! I _do_ remember it!” Rena pointed straight between Kaede’s eyes. “But you never stopped! Once we started having sex every week, you kept doing weird stuff!” 

Humid. It was humid in here all of a sudden. That’s why Kaede promptly became hot and sweaty all over. “Wh-what do you mean?” She had a good enough idea already, but for berating Rena and hitting her, a little verbal abuse was warranted here. “What did I do, exactly? Like how did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Th-the way you always… _you know_.” Rena gazed aside, gripping her bicep, arm squeezed across her torso, riding up her breasts. Rena’s mouthwatering assets practically overflowed from her shirt’s low-cut collar. “The way you're looking at me now,” Kaede heard her voice suddenly. “And how often you ask me if I think Momoko is hot.” 

“I have never used ‘hot.’” 

“Ugh, same difference! But how can I _not_ think the way I do when you’re going on about that and always gunning for my boobs?” 

“I’ll address the Momoko-thing in a sec. But first...” Pointing to the front of Rena’s shirt drew from her an angry blush. “I’m really sorry in advance if I made you uncomfortable.” Kaede even bowed in advance, rising as she heard Rena begin to interject. “I just want to say,” she added quickly, “that, because I always teased you about them before we started dating… I did a crummy thing and just sorta assumed you wouldn’t mind if I took the joking to the next level.” 

“‘Joking?’ That was _joking?_ Half the time it would lead to a quickie in gym storage closet, in an alley, or the woods even!” 

Kaede scooted back, touched her forehead to the ground; Rena might not even be mad about the sex, but this was one thing Kaede had zero intention arguing nor defending. “I’m sorry!” she cried into the hardwood, her apology ringing literally hollow. “Because you never said no I just assumed you wanted to! I should have known Rena-chan well enough to surmise that she only said yes to keep me around!” 

“Oi, I’m not that pathetic. Come on, pick yourself up.” Rena’s arms were crossed before her chest, her scowl soft with sympathy. “And you’re not so shallow that you’d leave me for sex. I… know that. Now, anyway, for sure,” she mumbled. 

“So… you always thought I was just some sort of sex addict?” Kaede snorted—she could only imagine the reactions of those who barely knew her beyond the surface, to be attributed such a label. “It’s not just because of your body or anything,” she said, smirking, “it’s just… I am and always have been into Rena-chan. No one else.” Today, however, might have awakened something within Kaede, though for the sake of her friendship with Momoko she would keep it to her grave. “It’s always been you, Rena, just after a few months of knowing each other: you’re the first and so far only person I’ve seriously been into. A, uh, little too much for your liking, it seemed,” Kaede mumbled, scratching a drop of sweat off her cheek. 

“Stop. Please, Kaede, you're being a martyr again,” Rena sighed, somehow the act heating her up instead of cooling, as a glow bled into her cheeks. “Sometimes I’ve told you to cut it out, and you listened. Other times I led you to those alleys or the storage closet and we… you know, did stuff.” 

“Yeah.” Kaede looked to the ceiling, recalling one of those. “You peed on me once.” 

“Th-that was your damn fault! I told you to calm down, but you just licked faster!” 

“For the last time, you must have said it in your head! All I heard you say was, ‘Teacher! Ah! Teacher, Kaede! I’m so close! Ah!’” 

Rena scowled. “I’m not that nasally.” 

“I’m joking, mostly. But I think your voice is very cute, Rena-chan.” Her girlfriend winced, hid her growing blush in a bow. She wasn’t in the mood to object about something that came down to personal taste—must be a blue moon tonight. “I wanna go back to the Momoko thing,” said Kaede. “Because, you might not remember this, but even you’ve praised Momoko for her looks, both to her face _and_ when it’s just us together.” 

Rena blanched, her eyes searching the hardwood space between their paralleled knees. “Yeah… Yeah. Rena still got angry at you, though. Pretty messed up, huh?” 

“I just think you projected your ‘shameful’ crush on Momoko as something I had.” To that, Rena swiftly met her gaze, her own wide and stricken. “Yeah,” Kaede answered, “I get it though: having a crush. Because I, well, I’ve always found Momoko to be a beautiful person, really! But I didn’t realize until literally today just how… um, well, h-how sexy she is.” 

“Oh, my gosh.” Rena clapped herself across the eyes. “I’m having enough trouble processing all of this without you calling Momoko ‘sexy.’” 

“Don’t forget that _you_ were the one who forced my hand on her chest, and my face close to hers.” Rena just clasped her pigtails, tugging, looking like she was trying to come to grips with something along the lines of, “the weight of my own shittiness.” Kaede tittered, because Rena was overreacting like always. And things were starting to feel more normal, she realized, as the dialogue went on. “I don’t blame you, Rena. And I trust you when you claim to love my body because it’s mine, that it’s as simple as that. But let’s be honest here, because I always have when it came to this: I’m nothing to write home about. It’s not even that I’m too skinny, but more that I’m lopsided. But Momoko… she really is a queen.” 

“Right? She’s so fit, yet she doesn’t have any gross abs or muscles!” 

“Whups, there goes Rena-chan’s belly kink again!” 

“Sh-shut u— _u’mmf!_ ” Her eyes boggled out of her head, gawking into Kaede’s, who saw nothing more as she drew her lids shut and tilted into the kiss. Rena put up no resistance. Their lips popped free, and Kaede didn’t pull away, instead nuzzling Rena’s face, peppering her lips over and over, again and again. Rena caught on, fell in pace, quickly turning their love into a rhythmic obscenity of wet smacks. 

Upon caressing her jawline Rena stiffened, inhaled sharp, before fully leaning into Kaede’s touch and cocking her kiss. A moan shocked Kaede’s teeth, massaged her tongue and lips, all of it smothered deeply in a kiss. 

Kaede pressed hard into Rena’s lips in return, and with a pop yanking herself away. Kaede leaned back, panting as she smiled to Rena, who was in the same boat. By now, the handprints on her cheeks had faded, and meshed with her flushed face. 

“What happened to that shoulder kiss?” she breathed. 

“Uhh… I couldn’t stay _that_ mad at you, is all.” Kaede tried being coy, but Rena looked completely unamused. In this situation, it was hard to determine why on the spot—this setup could be about anything. 

Rena crossed her arms, looked away with a slight pout. “You’re so lucky that I’m your girlfriend,” she said. “Anybody else would take advantage of how soft you are.” She bounced a little as her arms uncrossed. 

Speaking of which, indeed. 

Kaede smirked, her excitement poised to burst from her chest. The pinky of one hand was caught in the midst of a grin while her free hand lifted the front of her shirt, up to her navel. “Like I, you?” 

Rena’s eyes bounced up and down, her pupils like two basketballs. “Huh?” she uttered dumbly. 

“I’m talking about this.” In a single, swift movement, lifting and throwing her shirt aside, Kaede gently run dainty fingers across the slight, slight swell of her belly, barely pressing into it. “The softness of mine you take advantage of,” she cooed (and probably failed awkwardly at being sexy). “I want yours as well. I-If you want, of course,” she added hastily, but sexily maybe hopefully. 

Rena hunched forward, criss-cross, no longer trying to hide her deep cleavage as she regarded Kaede like one would an art piece. “M-my brain got rattled from how hard you slapped me. So, uh, you’re gonna have to keep… keep doing what you’re doing. Jog my memory. Um.” 

It took every ounce of willpower to swallow both bouts of laughter, the first in good humor to Rena’s deteriorating vocabulary; the second resulting from both a characteristic of the former and the genuine awe she had for Kaede’s mediocre figure. 

In short, Rena made Kaede giddy enough to want to squeal like a little girl. 

“Uh, well, i-if we’re to pick up where we left off…” Kaede cocked her hips one way, both hands traversing her smooth chest, “....you were asking me to do something naughty.” Her hips jut the other way, her hands coming up behind her head; Rena’s breath quickened. “Naughty, and pretty mean, actually—I wish you trusted me, Rena-chan. I do. Because you're the only girl I ever wanna touch.” With only jean shorts breaking the nakedness of her body, it was all too easy to drag Rena’s attention there as Kaede pulled down the waistline of her trousers. “But what’s especially mean is teasing me so bad like you did as Momoko.” Rena’s lips parted slightly, her focus completely trained on that tight little button finally popping free. Kaede’s plush waist was able to breathe. “But I can’t help understanding who you are, and forgiving you because I _love_ you, Rena-chan,” she purred, drawing a shudder from the smirk-suppressing tsundere. Her girlfriend’s eyes were trained and widening by the notch her zipper opened. “Though, leaving me unsatisfied? That’s just _cruel_ , and not something I can simply wave off and forget.” 

The zipper unable to go any further, Kaede smoothly raised her hands away from Rena’s prize, reclasping them behind her head. Both a chilled draft and Rena’s unblinking gaze tickled her groin area. 

Her girlfriend whistled low, and as usual it was Kaede who had to take the lead. “No panties _and_ you actually sha- _h’aved hello!_ ” Flat on her back, hair splayed out in all directions, excitement stuck to her face and radiating from her eyes. "Holy shit, Kaede." 

Kaede lowered herself to her elbows, laying herself completely against Rena. “Hi.” The only skin-on-skin contact were their collarlines, below the throat. “You came by on a lucky day, sexy. Let me make you comfortable.” 

As she undid both of Rena’s pigtails—a process that left Kaede’s entire weight on top of her, as she always liked—-the ensuing silence felt a little bit more sad than sensual. It’s because Rena’s panting had ceased, Kaede realized upon finishing with the pigtails. 

“What’s wrong?” Kaede asked in the same tone she did “Momoko,” uncaring of who she was, but only that she had a problem. Remembering this crucial turning point, Kaede’s gut dropped just as Rena inhaled to speak. 

Kaede put a finger to her lips. “I was 90% sure that you were Momoko around the time I asked those exact words,” she said. “Rena-chan, I could have called you out and saved us both a lot of grief. But I was stupid, and selfish: if I was right, and that it really _was_ you, transformed, I thought that anything I’d say would help you start trusting my words, and my feelings. That I’m not talking out the butt when I say you’re better than me.” 

Kaede removed her finger, replaced it with her lips for a quick peck. Adorably, Rena’s lips lingered in a puckered state a second too late and a second too long. 

Her eyes bat softly—blue and beautiful, and sharp-shaped as any full-blooded Japanese girl’s. “I was stupid and selfish, too. But let’s not turn this into emotional sex.”

“I’m kinda happy to hear that, actually. I just wanna go nuts.” Kaede giggled at the way Rena gulped. “Oh, yeah,” she jeered, “it’s gonna be like _that,_ Rena-chan. But don’t go thinking the things that happened today are shelved and forgotten.” 

“Of course not, you’d be stupid if they were,” Rena uttered softly. “But let’s shelve and forget it _for now_ , and let me go grab a towel from your bathroom.” 

“Ooo! Rena-chan admitting right out the gate that she’s gonna be a mess! How humble of you.” 

Her girlfriend below rolled her eyes, smirking nonetheless. “Don’t rub yourself off too hard, Kaede. I know I’ll be bad because spending time in Momoko’s body got me really turned on.” 

“You are _not_ transforming into anything or anyone while we’re having sex.” 

“Damn killjoy.” 


	2. Beachside Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rena and Kaede are at the beach, their first since they started dating. Fortunately - yes, fortunately - Rena is too embarrassed to let prying eyes see her new swimsuit and Kaede is alone enough to get hit on by a couple guys.

“Rena?” Kaede rapped her knuckles against the door—for a third time. “Rena-chaaan?” The seagulls squawked. The waves whispered. Chatter polluted the balmy air, humidity weighing the world itself with a uniquely gaseous dampness. Kaede flapped the little skirt of her bikini top, airing bursts of cool air against her soaking flesh. 

The changing tent remained quiet as a grave. 

She slammed her palm against the door. “Come _on_ , Rena!” She smacked with every word. 

“Shut up! Quit rushing me!” 

_At least she didn’t die of embarrassment,_ Kaede mused dryly. “How could I _not?_ Coordinator-san adjusted our soul gems to change into these swimsuits, it’s easier than a literal push of the button!” 

“‘Easier said than done,’ _baaaka!_ ” Rena sneered. “Would you say that all casual-like if this button dropped a nuke? On old people?!” 

The blatancy of her childishness was groan-worthy. “You’re being dramatic.” Silence. “If this’s about how it looks, then how come you didn’t hesitate last summer when we vacationed with the girls?” 

“B-because!” 

“...Because?” 

“Baka-Kaede! _Baaaka!_ ” 

“Elaborate.” 

“Don’t patronize me! How can I not be embarrassed when this is—?! Wh-when this’s,” Rena mumbled, “you know…” 

“Our first summer together?” Kaede realized. 

“That’s ten points for you. Full answer is worth twenty.” 

Kaede didn’t think twice: “You’re afraid you can’t handle the charm of me in my swimsuit without getting an anime-styled nosebleed?” 

Rena choked on laughter, which made Kaede smile. “Are you being serious?” 

Not at all. “Dead serious.” 

“Baka-Kaede. My feelings are serious.” 

“Well, you’re not explaining them to me.” She refrained from sniping an “as usual” at the end there, for Rena was sensitive about that and honest when it mattered most. “Rena-chan, if this is about…” Kaede considered her word choice, muttered against the wood in case of passersby, “if this is about your body, you shouldn’t be so self-conscious.” That sounded so ignorant and stupid now that she heard it aloud. “I mean, ugh,” Kaede sighed to herself, “I mean, you shouldn’t care about what other people might think. None of these people matter to you, and you don’t matter to them. At the end of the day, you’re just a cute girl with a slamming body and they’re all just a bunch of no-face dummies you’ll never see again, and forget about completely once we’re playing in the water.” 

Rena hummed in disdain. “Kaede… wait, did you really just say that I got a ‘slamming body?’ Are you a frat boy, or are you that entranced by my boobs?”

A little bit of both, Kaede mused to herself. “Your figure is worthy of envy, milady. Not just thy bountiful bosom.” 

A groan. “You’re not taking this seriously.” 

“Rena, it’s hot!” Kaede whined. “I love you and I feel really bad and awful that you’re insecure about your body, honest. But if you really don’t feel comfortable doing the beach with me, then that’s okay! But can we please leave _now_ , and go somewhere with air conditioning and ice pops?” 

There was a heartbeat of nothing but tension. Kaede feared she let the heat get to her. 

And then, a short soft, “Gomen nasai.” 

“Daisuke,” she chirped back. 

A soft, blush-ridden grunt came from the other side of the door. “Look, It’s… s’not about how I look, okay? Not _just_ that, anyway...” 

“I’m guessing you were fine last year because we were in a big group—” 

“D-don’t go thinking it’s because I feel less safe around you!” Rena snapped. “I can handle myself!” 

“Hai. But your heart needs mine, yeah?” 

Once again, Rena choked. “You say such embarrassing things so easily.” She added before Kaede could feel self-conscious, “Arigato.” 

Her sincerity came through, so softly yet true that Kaede chuckled, kissing her forehead against the door and both hands upon the changing tent’s dry, splintering wood. “You are strong, Rena. Much more confident than me.” A statement more insulting to Kaede than admirable of Rena, all things considered, but something her girlfriend should take some pride points in, because God knows she needed them. “So, why…” 

__________

_“...are you so embarrassed?”_ Kaede’s softspoken concern was enough to get Rena’s heart to do backflips. 

_‘Why am I embarrassed?’ You already said it, more than once. You probably know it even despite my insistence to the contrary._ As per usual with Rena, it was a metric fuckload of atypical insecurity bullshit. The same tired shit she and Kaede had danced through again and again and again and a-fucking-gain. 

And she would never get out of this tent—nay, finish the day no less—without talking about at least one of her issues. And besides, history proved that Kaede had a 100% success rate with making Rena feel better after talking, even though she herself doubted it because of her own poor self-esteem. 

Rena fell back on the spoken, simplest, most embarrassing first, because ripping off a bandaid stopped hurting after the initial burn: “I’m positive you’re… you look… um, you know…” Fuck this. Rena breathed deep. “You’re much cuter than me, I’m sure of it!” she declared—screamed, really—like when Kaede announced to her parents that she was gay. 

She hoped the Kaede here and now would have a similar reaction as her parents did. 

A soft chuckle fluttered in the ensuring quiet, drowning out the muted crash of waves and chatter of beach-goers—Kaede did, in fact, react as her parents had that needlessly terrifying dinner. 

“I think you know how this conversation is gonna go, Rena.” And yet her smile was audible, her blush moreso. “My beautiful Rena-chan.” 

_Fuck, shit, fuck._ There was just a door between them, between her lips and Kaede’s. Rena was for once thankful of her tangled ball of fears which stayed her feet, kept her borderline rational. “It’s always the same when it comes to this. Gomen, by the way… Why do you think I lied in the first place?” Rena knew exactly why, the real why: it was looking back at her in the mirror of this tent. A looking-glass not so different from the one which mocked her in her unconscious thoughts, whenever Cinderella would come out to wreak havoc. 

The reflection was that of a small, ridiculous little girl, big in one way only; one that made her seem like she was trying so hard to appear mature in the shallowest way possible. A way that girls repelled by her personality glared at, and boys who knew nothing about her—sans her nasty attitude—gazed upon with hooded eyes or pitifully hidden glances. 

A way that made Rena’s back hurt and her face hot when she would catch such looks. 

A way that made her childishly giddy whenever she remembered the frustrated glare of Kamihama’s most famous veteran, the genuine model, Nanami Yachiyo. 

A way that a small part of her was proud of for having, and wanted to show off last summer to all her magical girl friends. Even now, this time around, she wanted to see her beloved Kaede gawk in awe and bow down in love, always regarding Rena like she was a beauty queen. Not something to be despised or lus—well, yes, lusted over, but in a way that ran deep with love, envy, but above all, respect. 

Respect for the girl boasting such assets, for the real feelings she had and the warts beneath. 

Who understood that, despite all the negative energy channeled to her appearance, it was still something which rendered shitty Minami Rena better than all those mean girls, even if it were in the shallowest way possible. After all, a victory was a victory, regardless if it made Rena look like a twelve-year-old who got plastic surgery with Daddy’s credit card—or whatever the fuck those bitches in school had said once. 

Looking at that little girl in the mirror, part of Rena wanted to think that Mitama intentionally made her swimsuit this way so as to build some confidence (being a delver of every magical girl’s innermost insecurities and private moments, she had a knack for that stuff, no?). That was probably it, honestly, given how much she helped Rena and Kaede get together. 

But Rena was Rena, and the loud, defensive part of her brain had long ago concluded that Coordinator-san was a full-blooded pervert, and thrived off of the secondhand embarrassment she inflicted on her clients. 

With that in mind, how did Yakumo Mitama make Kaede look? 

How… just how sexy—a word Rena wouldn’t be caught dead saying, even to said girlfriend—was Kaede’s swimsuit? 

Rena perked her head up, emerged from her scummy self-loathing, wondering where the hell her life partner had gone. Why was she so silent? Did she give up? 

__________

Kaede balled up her fists, breathed deep, mustered some guts for good measure. _For Rena._

She approached a pair of huge guys applying sunscreen to their biceps, so ripped that their bodies were near-perfect triangles. Approaching them got her guts knotting worse by the step, especially since she couldn’t tell where their eyes were looking behind their shades. 

Definitely not her soft tummy. Kaede looked like a middle schooler still, even at fifteen. Her body was narrow, while Rena’s had most certainly filled out into an hourglass even more so than last year. 

Thinking this, reassuring herself, let her voice be easily found. “Um, excuse me?” She came to a stop, their full attention on her. 

The shaved-head smiled. “What’s up, cutie?” 

“Need a beach buddy?” asked the blonde. 

Kaede opened her mouth. 

But the blonde continued. “Your swimsuit is really nice. Dig all the bells and whistles, too.” 

“A-arigato! Etto...” Maybe they were being kind. Maybe they were hitting on her. Either way, Kaede didn’t want to waste their time: “Um, my girlfriend is being shy, and I was hoping you could help me help her come out?” she blurted out. 

Surprisingly, the two guys shared a look, shrugged, and stood. 

__________

“Kaede?” Rena called again, both hands on the door. Her heart sank even deeper than before to the sound of silence. 

A good girlfriend would leave this dumb tent and find her partner. But going at it alone would only draw eyes to Rena—lustful and probably hateful, too. And if Kaede went off to go to the bathroom, it’d be bad if she came back only to find Rena had left. As if she would buy that Rena was zoning out in self-pity? 

Well, she would.

But then it would become a big thing, and this was supposed to be a fun day. Even though they could find one another with telepathy, it was about the principle of the thing. 

_Wait,_ Rena paused, realizing, _I made a big deal out of nothing already—_

“Woah, hot _damn_ ,” exhaled a deep, masculine voice that was _very_ close to her changing tent. “What’s a snack like you doing out here all by yourself, huh?” 

Rena’s cheeks burst into flame, because of course her stupid gut reaction would assume regular guys had x-ray vision (and given the long stares she sometimes got, that didn’t feel like such an irrational fear). Maybe there was a tear in this… this nearly pitch-dark tent she failed to notice? 

Stupid. Rena was always so stu—

“You’re looking lonely, babe.” Terrifyingly, another voice had piped up, deeper than the last, equal in horniness. Terrifying because, subconsciously, Rena immediately knew who they were speaking with, and that it was her Kaede being hit on by two scary-sounding men who were definitely older than her fifteen-year-old self. “Wanna party with us? We’re nice, trust me!” 

“U-um, that’s okay! Arigato! I’m really not much of a partier, though, I’m just waiting for my friend.” 

Rena was frozen. 

_Kaede’s being hit on,_ she processed, realizing, _Kaede’s being hit on! But… she’s standing her ground?_ Hopefully Rena wouldn’t have to go out there, lest she be hit on, too. _Fuck I’m such a coward._ She smacked her forehead against the door. 

“She ain’t comin’, bro,” the first guy muttered. 

The deeper-voiced one said at equal volume, “Yeah. Let me try this.” Then aloud, “Alright, girl, let me be straight with you—we don’t care about how nice you are. Clearly, though, you’re not the type to say ‘no’ twice.” Rena’s hairs stood on fucking end. “To us, you’re just some beach babe we wanna Eiffel Tower and tour around Pound Town.” 

“Ara!” 

The first guy barked with laughter. “Yeah!” he said. “You’re so small that I don’t think you could handle our equipment, but that’s what makes fucking you girls silly so damn fun, the way your mind breaks after a few creampies.” 

Rena's leg had risen, her calve wrapped in royal blue straps and pearls, and before she could process this development a beastial part of her let it fly sandal-first into the door. 

The dudes were twice her size and towering over a surprisingly calm Kaede, but she was always stronger than Rena thought. Subconsciously affirming that she wasn’t in tears with but a glance, Rena went 100% into a sprint to the turning dudebros. 

The short distance from the changing tent and them was but a couple feet, but for a magical girl technically in her uniform, no feat was physically improbable, especially knocking one of them flat on their ass with a flying kick. 

“Get your horny selves _—_ ” Rena pivoted in the sand, roundhousing the other guy in the temple, “—away from my girlfriend!” The second guy fell to his knee, rubbing his head with a curse. Rena took a stance, both fists raised. “Back off, rapists! She’s fifteen and I’m sixteen, and neither of us are legal in this prefecture!” 

“Oh, my goodness!” To Rena’s surprise Kaede ran not to her side, not for a hug, but a kneel at the boys’ sides, hands poised before her. “Gomen! Gomen nasai” 

An inexplicable feeling of shittiness overcame Rena. She suddenly didn’t feel like a hero or a protective girlfriend at all, even though she clearly was, and not at all a total jackass who probably went overboard. 

_No, these doofuses were saying all those nasty things to my Kaede!_ The guilt was fleeting, gone completely with that thought. 

“Holy smokes,” breathed the guy she hit first, propping himself on one strong arm, massaging at the red footprint on his pec with the other. “Akino-chan, you lucky duck! Your GF’s a genuine beaut!” 

Now Rena was more than embarrassed, she was confused. She coughed into her fist, crossed her arms in front of her half-bared chest. “Not interested.” 

Kaede’s giggling served to paint a weird but increasingly sensible picture. “Thank you, and thanks, too, for your help!” 

The blonde, still rubbing at his temple, stood whilst helping his friend up. “Love a girl who could kick my ass. It’s a damn shame the two of you swing in the opposite direction.” 

Whatever the hell was going on here, one thing Rena couldn’t stand was compliments from strangers—especially guys who were ogling her tits. “Get the hell out of here, frat freaks!”   
  


Kaede planted her face to the ground in prostration. “I’m sorry my Rena-chan is so volatile!” 

“Eh, no biggie. Been called worse by girls closer to me, and this was fun besides,” said the blonde. “C’mon, Ryuj. Let’s leave the young love to blossom.” 

Kaede rose, still kneeling in the sand as she waved to the brick wall of chiseled backs. “Bye Ryuji-kun! Bye-bye Gen-kun! Arigatooo!” 

“Later Akino-chan! Rena-chan!” 

The latter’s ears twitched, burning red. “You’re on a first name basis with those guys?” 

“Oh, hush. Baka-Rena.” Kaede picked herself up. “I had to get you out of there somehow, and you stopped responding after a while.” 

Rena glared. “So you decided the logical course of action was to manipulate my feelings?” She went to grab Kaede’s wrist, still feeling protective as those guys’ nasty words ensnared her thoughts. 

Kaede jerked away uncharacteristically, and uttered severely, “Who practically molested me wearing Momoko’s face?” 

That was totally deserving. Absolutely. But still… “Two wrongs suddenly make a right?” Maybe it was for the topic on who was in the wrong here, but the rest of what those guys had said suddenly processed: “And you told some strangers about us?!” 

Scowling, Kaede stepped up, reached and clasped the back of Rena’s head and crashed their lips together. Rena gasped in surprise, allowing for something hot, thick, and moist to penetrate her lips, to encircle the inside of her mouth. 

With a sloppy smack, Kaede fell away, gasping as Rena found herself seeing stars in the cloudless sky. “The hell,” she gasped, “wassat, Kaede?” She barely cared that people could have seen. She did, but, but who gave a fuck? She would never see them again and vice versa. If someone from school saw, well, who didn’t already hate the two of them; and if a fellow magical girl saw, then hey, who didn’t know about one of Kamihama’s most famous magical girl couples? 

“You look amazing.” 

Those three words had the same thought-stopping power as the other three. 

Rena found amber eyes crowning a blush certainly not borne from the sun, boring into hers and bright with love, lust, worship, and all that heart-gooey shit she had fantasized about moments ago. 

“The pearls are beautiful, and I think quite appropriate for you,” she continued, some million miles away. “Especially with the clam theme you have going on.” 

“O-oh. Um, a-arigato?” Rena glanced down at the necklace she’d failed to notice amidst her pity party. Cinching her sheer skirt to her hips was a pearl chain that mirrored Kaede’s gem-embedded flowers, Rena’s own capped on either side in a pair of half-shells. 

She didn’t miss a word of what Kaede was saying as these details registered: “The color scheme and pattern is like your magical girl uniform. The bow, too. It’s really, super cute, Rena-chan. Honestly. This is so much better than your swimsuit last year.” 

It might have been the heat. 

No, it was definitely the heat. 

Without a doubt. 

Because Kaede praised her often, and rarely did it turn Rena’s brain so mushy. Not usually, anyway. 

“How’m I supposed to respond to that?” she asked her sandaled feet. 

A hand reached into view, pulled hers out in front of her. Rena followed that which grasped her wrist, past a seriously cute floral bracelet, and found Kaede’s sweetly smiling face. “You could start with, ‘let’s set up our umbrella, cuz it’s hot as heck,’” she giggled. 

It was. “F-fine. Lead the way,” she tried saying plainly. 

And Kaede nodded happily, turning and leading Rena by the hand. Like a child. But only because she was her girlfriend did she allow it. But Rena could feel the stares, imaginary or not—she yanked away to no protest, because of course Kaede understood. She always did. She never got mad and she was too good for Rena, always. 

“I… I like your suit, too.” Kaede slowed her pace, looking over her shoulder, one eye bright as her smile, her flush brighter. “It’s… it’s cuter than Sayu-Sayu.” 

“Now _that’s_ a compliment.” 

“Shut up! I’m not good at this stuff, okay?!” 

Kaede spun on her heel, hands clasped behind her, undeterred. “I was being serious. That’s big coming from you. Arigato, Rena.” She was shockingly good at keeping her eyes on Rena’s—who noticed now that they were stopped how bouncy she was in this bikini. 

“Y-you look… cute,” mumbled Rena, gazing away then back to Kaede, up and down her slim yet soft figure. She swallowed. “Your top… it’s like your poncho. I like it, I… I like it a lot.” Kaede just giggled into her hand, definitely in good-nature but Rena’s gut assumed it was in mockery. She sank within her shoulders. “Please don’t make me say anymore.” 

Kaede craned her head close, never taking her eyes off Rena as her lips came within kissing range. “You’re turning heads, Rena-chan. It’s not just your body—your suit oozes sex appeal.” 

It suddenly felt a million degrees hotter here. “Baka! You can’t just say stuff like that!” Rena swiped for a shove or something, but Kaede leapt back, cackling, and sprinted off for where they set their towels, cooler, and disassembled umbrella. 

Her laugh was infectious though, despite the heat.


	3. Because Everything You Are (Is Everything I Need)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rena sends Kaede a message. She always has, and now, finally, Kaede responds in kind.

  
  


_ Kaede, _

_ My sweet Kaede,  _

_ I love cheesy shit like this. For as long as I could remember, I fantasized about my future love giving me a letter just like this. One that called me sweet and doted on me about all the things they love about me.  _

_ That’s not gonna be this letter, though.  _

_ This is gonna be everything I can’t bear to tell you face-to-face because I’m a stupid coward.  _

_ Even so, I wanted to start this with something that isn’t selfish for once. Something that’s cute. I can’t help but wanna start this way, because it’s the perfect opener for a cute, sweet, wonderful person and girlfriend like you.  _

_ It’s honest. Simple. Fits you to a damn “T” and I’ll slap you if you even try disagreeing with my assessment.  _

_ Because you, Akino Kaede, ARE sweet. And you’re mine.  _

_ “Fuck.” _

_ “Fuck, fuck.”  _

_ ^Right there, my gut reaction. This cringe-as-hell opening, cheesy and lame, right? Most people would cringe right back: ‘How childish. I’m embarrassed for her girlfriend,’ they’d think. ‘What a cliche—is that dumb bitch still in grade school?’  _

_ Sorry. I have a lot to be sorry for, but for this specifically, I’m sorry I went off on another self-hating tangent here. Right off the bat, even. To be honest, this isn’t something I planned or wrote drafts for (that’s an obvious lie, I went through two papers and four sides mustering up the balls to “be honest,” as Momoko told me). I guess, when you look at it in that context, my first instinct is to knock myself down a peg or five.  _

_ To hate myself and praise you. You hate it when I do that, and you’re the same damn thing as me, hating the self while praising each other for reasons we ourselves are too fucked up and depressed to accept as fact.  _

_ You and I deny our quality. Constantly. We CONSTANTLY deny our self-worth. Not out qualities, the existence of them, no. We deny our QUALITY as people.  _

_ That’s just it. That’s what we do, Kaede, that’s what we’ve always done the very moment you and I say something good about each other.  _

_ And I know it isn’t because we don’t believe in them, because, well, we’ve been a couple for two years now, and we can’t deny the facts right in front of us. It’d be stupid to seriously turn a blind eye to the things that have kept us together, that built the bedrock of our initial friendship.  _

_ No. Like I said, it’s not that we don’t believe the existence of these things.  _

_ Rather… _

_ It’s that we disagree about our quality as people. We disagree that our worth outweighs our faults.  _

_ Kaede, we disagree—and neither of us had ever breathed life into this very obvious feeling we both got—--but the two of us absolutely, vehemently disagree that you and I are good for each other.  _

_ Right now you might be having a gut reaction yourself: ‘Rena-chan, no!’ you probably cried aloud, ya big baby. I love you for that, though.  _

_ Fuck, I love you.  _

_ And yet, you don’t think that’s a big deal. That your quote-unquote, ‘obsession,’ matters in the long run because you still haven’t managed to crack the inner walls of my heart. I know that, because you actually confessed to feeling this way. Oh, I’ve done that, too, you’re probably thinking, and I’ll get to that.  _

_ You confessed all that to me, Kaede. More than once. And I’ve told you back that I don’t think I’m worth all your time and love. I told you everything I could: that I’m scum and I hate myself because I have a shitty personality because I had a dumb lonely life because I’m anxious and weird because I don’t know what to say ever and that causes me to blurt out mean shit in order to hide that and it just makes people hate me and then I hate myself because it’s a cycle I’m trapped in and there’s nothing I could ever do to fix it.  _

_ But you know all of this already.  _

_ You’ve also figured out, most likely, that I was never totally honest with you in these times, either. You never pressed, though, and at the very least I know it’s because you don’t want to put me on the spot and make me uncomfortable.  _

_ That’s what my brain thinks, anyway. And my brain does most of the talking in these times.  _

_ My heart, though, it’s a completely different story. And that’s the point of this letter.  _

_ This stupid letter with that cheesy, cringey opening line. ‘My sweet Kaede.’ Pfft.  _

_ I’m not saying that most people would think of it that way on the spot. But they would feel it. They’d cringe right back, like I said. Heck, you probably winced, all embarrassed, when you first read that, thinking gruff Rena-chan has finally snapped. And that’s what I’ve always been afraid of, Kaede—not exactly what people’d think of me, and not what they would make fun of me for.  _

_ Rather, it’s the people I love reacting this way, and then lying through their fucking teeth about it. Already, even, Rena’s primed to reject everything you’re gonna tell me the next time we meet.  _

_ Everybody else, I couldn’t give less of a shit about what they think (probably because I’m used to no one liking me). Not tryna make this into a ‘woe is me’ letter, that’s honestly how it is. Can’t lie to you about that, though, so of course, it still bothers me.  _

_ That ‘bother,’ though, doesn’t come close to the suffocating feeling I’m getting when I think of you cringing to that opening line. Or the rest of this letter.  _

_ Fuck fuck I’m fucking keeping it this needs to be said dammit: wanna know the other times I can’t breathe, Kaede?  _

_ I’ll give you a hint or two. You’re gonna love this and just love me more, I can already tell. _

_ For one, when we’re fighting a Witch. Because I’m scared of you getting hurt. Always have, always will. Specifically, when I myself am in the heat of battle—because what if, I think to myself, what if this is it? ‘The final fight?’ The one where I lose everything because I’m not strong enough to win?  _

_ Or worse, too weak to get my mind off of you? To trust you, even as you prove yourself nine times out of ten these days to be a powerful, competent magical girl?  _

_ And then I feel like shit after. Because I always cuff you on the noggin for some silly mistake that I always top the moment I blame you for my own weakness.  _

_ I’m such a jackass. You know this, you tell me it, you stick with me despite it and you’re the most amazing girlfriend I don’t deserve for a second—but that doesn’t erase the fact that my glowing characteristic can be summed up as “jackass.”  _

_ Let’s move on before I start pitying myself in circles.  _

_ Here’s a pretty terrible one: I can’t breathe when we’re with Momoko. Yeah, stupid, huh? The most chill, supportive, kindest fucking person I ever had the privilege of knowing, not to mention call my friend, and I’m afraid of her.  _

_ The worst part is it’s nothing that can be explained away, or logic’d around, because I know for a FACT that Momoko is genuinely a chill, supportive, kind fucking person at heart.  _

_ But Minami Rena is, at heart, a paranoid broken little girl too afraid to trust anybody.  _

_ Not even her own girlfriend. Pretty messed up, huh?  _

_ And that’s another time I can’t breathe—whenever I’m with you.  _

_ Yeah. _

_ Yeah.  _

_ You can throw this away now and delete me from your contacts. It’s all downhill from here.  _

_ Why?  _

_ Why, Kaede? _

_ Why can’t I trust you and Momoko?  _

_ In my head I know I can. And despite what I feel, I still do. But my heart, it just disagrees. It gets tight and hard to breathe at the dumbest, littlest things, and infects my brain with thoughts I can’t get rid of: _

_ Like, ‘why did Momoko’s smile die immediately when she looked away from us that one time? Is she only pretending to be happy for us? Is she jealous, does she think we’re gross?’  _

_ And it doesn’t stop with her, like I said: ‘Is Kaede only staying with me because she pities me, and she doesn’t want me killing myself?’  _

_ ‘How annoyed does Kaede get with my self-pitying?’  _

_ ‘With the lies that I’m fine to avoid this?’  _

_ ‘The lies that I trust her?’  _

_ ‘The apparent lie that I find her stupidly sexy, even though I’m hardly if ever the one to initiate that stuff?’  _

_ ‘Does Kaede only like me for my body?’ Which leads to the stupid feeling, ‘I’m gonna sag if we get older. She’ll probably wanna stop touching me, even if we ARE still together by then.’  _

_ These feelings haunt me, Kaede. They CURSE me! I can’t logic around them, I can’t convince myself that they’re all stupid and ridiculous, because I’m ME and I just CAN’T because I’m so FUCKING TERRIFIED of being caught off guard in the chance that any of them become real and we end the same way all of my relationships had in the past!  _

_ That’s why I will never stop thinking that you’d be happier in the long run if we broke up.  _

_ With all the love in my heart,  _

_ Akino Kaede _

_ P.S. _

_ I hope that this didn’t offend you, Rena-chan.  _

_ I hope that, instead of getting riled up and denying all that I’ve gleaned from our time together, the conversations we’ve had, that you come to accept my acceptance of these hidden sentiments, and that I truly do love you.  _

_ I hope that, instead of thinking this was me taking potshots at you and venting over our fruitless discussions, you can ignore the protests of your soul and trust that I always have—and always will—accept these faults of yours. Even if they never get better.  _

_ I hope that, when I tell you this was a desperate bid as a result of said frustrations, that you focus less on the ‘frustrations’ and more on the ‘desperate bid.’  _

_ I hope that, despite my selfishness in claiming this to be a ‘desperate bid (to make Rena-chan realize I truly love her, warts and all),’ you see past that exasperated label and see the intent behind my effort.  _

_ Most hopefully of all, I hope that my desperate bid finally gets past the walls of your inner heart. I hope it penetrates your soul and it in turn accepts my feelings, at last. All of them. I hope your soul doesn’t writhe in protest and doubt me for protection’s sake, and instead, calms.  _

_ I hope your heart calms after these sixteen painful years of living.  _

_ I hope you start feeling calm when you’re with me.  _

_ And I hope this calm perpetuates when I say, ‘I love you.’  _

_ ‘Will you marry me, Rena-chan?’  _

The silver band crowned with a ruby clattered on the floor, shrank-shrank-shrank to a twinkling speck until it couldn’t shrink no more, until Rena’s back slammed unto the wall so hard that her little brother knocked back. 

Such a puny thing from afar, yet even so it still felt like the biggest, most horrifying Witch that ever lived. 

It was just a dumb piece of cheesy jewelry her girlfriend had comissioned—a gesture that in of itself made Rena’s heart skip a beat. 

_ Wait, what does this mean?  _ thought that oft-mentioned ‘inner heart’ behind the ‘inner walls’ of Rena’s soul. An answer came and it terrified. 

It warmed the soul. 

It warmed beyond the walls so suddenly it was pushed right back out, only for the warmth to force its way back in, penetrating her walls, stabbing her in the eyes. 

It wasn’t Kaede’s soul gem. 

_ It isn’t Kaede’s soul gem. I thought she was nearby ready to jump out but it’s not. I shoulda known this but I thought the lack of magic meant she somehow dampened it.  _

So it wasn’t one of her playful little games. 

And it wasn’t the result of Rena thinking she completely erased her memory, Tamaki Ui-style, of this embarrassing tirade, penned in ink. This tirade that was addressed to her girlfriend, spoke with Rena’s voice, uttered Rena’s darkest, most shameful thoughts, and ended with her girlfriend’s fluffy signature. 

It might be a forgery though. Mitama, maybe—she saw everything, only she could know a girl so intimately. It might be a forgery, then, this signature. This signature which blurred and melted together and stung to look upon, to think about, to even exist knowing and seeing and thinking about. 

Her phone was in the same boat, but the screen clearly read Akino Kaede, and the speakers rang a dull, monotonous beat until cutting off abruptly, quickly, too quickly. 

_ “Moshi-moshi, Rena-chan?” _ she greeted all innocent-like. 

How dare she. How fucking dare she.  _ Fuck you, Kaede! Just fuck you!  _ Something within Rena couldn’t put this to words, instead expelling the emotion of it in a single, long sound. 

_ “R-Rena?! Rena, I—! I’m sorry, I was completely wrong, wasn’t I?!”  _

That did it. She knew damn-well that she was right: “Fuck you, Kaede!” Rena wailed. 

_ “Wha—?”  _

“Who the hell do you think you are, takin’ me down a peg or five and then scooping me up when I’m a mess with this stupid proposal?! You couldn’t even bring yourself to do it in person, huh?!” 

_ “No.”  _ Rena jerked feeling slapped by her word. The… the succinctness of it. The lightness in her tone, yet the tightness in her utterance— _ “I’m a fucking mess, Rena-chan.”  _

Cussing so vilely, so Rena-like out of nowh— _ “I think so little of myself that I never had the confidence to approach you about all these worrying signs I’ve noticed over the years.”  _

“Kaede!” Rena blubbered, all she could say: a plea, a heartbroken demand for her to stop even though she’d never, ever given Kaede the same courtesy. 

_ “But you gave me that confidence, Rena. Not just in life and in battle, but for us, too. You’re too important to me to wanna roll up in a ball and shield myself from our pain forever.”  _

The enormity of Kaede’s courage made Rena gasp. The familiarity of her feelings and the comparative failure of Rena choked her simultaneously. Coughing, hacking so hard she saw red spotting her vision, brought Kaede to cast a life preserve in the distant coos of,  _ “I love you, Rena. I know you so well by this point and I still love you.”  _

_ “IDIOT!”  _ tore loose from Rena’s soul. “What makes you think that’s making me cry?! You could be wrong! I could be embarrassed! You-y-y-you fucking  _ idiot,  _ Kaede! You’re a complete and utter  _ moron! _ ” 

Calmly, before regret could send Rena’s thumb rocketing into the ‘End Call’ button, Kaede asked,  _ “Did I read you wrong after all these years, Rena-chan?”  _

“Shut up, you already know the answer to that!” 

_ “Then why am I a fucking idiot, Rena?”  _

“YOU KNOW THAT, TOO!” 

_ “I don’t.”  _

**“YES, YOU DO!”**

_ “Onee-chan,”  _ the wall behind her cried,  _ “quit screamin’ and yellin’!”  _

**_“FUCK YOU, KAZUMA! I’M TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND!”_ **

_ “I wanna hear you say it, though, Rena.”  _

“Because—!” Rejection. Confirmation. Heartbreak. Rena choked on the inner walls of her heart. 

And her soul cried at the shittiness of who she was. 

_ “It’s okay, Rena-chan. Your heart is in chaos right now, but soon it will accept that my love for you is real.”  _

Fuck her. Fuck her for being right, for knowing Rena so well, for being with her despite this stupid personality disorder. 

“It’s because you love me, you stupid idiot,” she croaked at last. Across the room, Sayuki smiled down on her, fist pumping mid-leap—as if encouraging her to be true to herself, as if knowing Kaede would always accept that truth with open heart and arms. “Even if you’re wrong, you are crazy-desperate to wanna spend the… the…” She winced, cringed, blushed even. “Even though you wanna marry me,” she powered through, “you got no idea if I’ll ever get over my stupid issues! How naive can you be, to dive into such a painful commitment and play with my heart like that?!” 

_ “But we’re not engaged, Rena-chan.”  _

A sniffle on the other end ripped Rena’s heart in two. 

_ “Relationships are a two-way street from beginning to end. So, we’re not engaged until you say ‘yes.’”  _

This bitch. Always making Rena look like an idiot. God, she loved her. She loved her so much that a chuckle wheezed out of Rena. “You’re betting alotta faith in me. That I won’t run away and put it off ‘til we’re wrinkly and grey.” 

_ “So we’re gonna be together forever regardless?”  _ Weak laughter rattled through the speaker, within Rena’s heart.  _ “I’d still like to make it official, though. In America, obviously, a-and, obviously, we’d come back home! But I was thinking we’d save and save and save until you and I could have the wedding of our dreams. Even though we and all our friends won’t be in Kamihama, I doubt anybody would be at risk of Witching out on such a happy day.”  _

Rena snuffled, gasping a laugh. “Dammit, Kaede,” she rasped. She was so damn good at making a serious conversation light again without ever making Rena feel awkward. Kaede felt obligated, not to erase the negativity in the air, but bring out the positivity in Rena, always by being her sunny little self. 

Oh, God, Rena was just so horrible. “Dammit, Kaede!” 

_ “Rena-chan?!”  _

“I wanna say it.” The silence’s heaviness pressed hot against her cheeks. “I… I wanna see you.” 

_ “Eh?! R-right now?!”  _

Not just upon her face, the silence now strangled Rena’s heart. “W-we don’t have to. You could say ‘no,’ s’not like we won’t see each other tomorrow.” 

_ “No!”  _ cracked Rena’s phone speaker. The quiet that followed made her heart skip a beat, because dammit, Kaede was just too genuine to ever distrust, at least not fully.  _ “Um, I mean… no, we shouldn’t put this off. I should’ve been prepared to talk about this face to face, but I honestly didn’t account for Rena-chan to be so courageous after this.”  _

_ That  _ was snort-worthy. “Fuck you.” 

_ “Don’t tease me~”  _ Laughter soft as a cloud fluttered forth as Rena’s entire body broke into a sweat—she couldn’t deny that her subconscious, having not writhed in protest, had already presumed tonight would end in such things.  _ “I’m joking, sorry, this is serious.”  _

_ “Rena-chan… I don’t want you rushing into this promise. I will see you tonight, though, and I am willing to talk about this forever for as long as it takes until you believe me.”  _ Rena already had, dammit.  _ “But the last thing I want is for you to accept my ring out of fear. I promise you, Rena, I don’t plan on ending our relationship anytime soon, even if you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of me committing myself to you.”  _

It hurt. It hurt so bad that the back of Rena’s head thunked against the wall, that her blackened vision glowed as it turned towards the light, all in a desperate bid to breathe through the wild throbbing in her chest. 

She admitted aloud, for Kaede, “Of course you’d figure it’s because of that.” That she wasn’t afraid of commitment, or of hurting Kaede at some random time in their adult years, but rather, the notion of her girlfriend shackling herself to Rena in momentous matrimony. 

The very thing every human with a soul fantasized of. 

That Rena imagined herself standing across from Kaede, both of them in white, exchanging engagement rings that were actually their soul gems. Because, yeah, it was a cringey and sappy idea, but in the afterglow of lovemaking, when they couldn’t bear to break physical contact from one another, Rena always fancied the childish dream of being so close together at all times that they could wear one another’s soul gems without ever taking them off. 

Not only was Kaede just as sappy and cringey as her, she went ahead and commissioned a gesture with all the meaning as the real thing. 

How dare Rena drop it? How dare she?! Some madness in Rena’s heart screamed, ushering her in a spillage of diving and slapping the silver band as though it would’ve vanished if she were a second too late. 

_ “Rena-chan? Are you still there?”  _ Anxiety subtly but suddenly colored her words, wobbled them gently between the feelings of, ‘Did I make her mad?’ and ‘Did I say something dumb?’ 

This consistently occurred whenever Rena spaced out like she had just now. 

“Sorry, did you say something?” The ruby twinkled beneath her fingers—Kaede’s soul, symbolically but equally as precious. 

_ “Oh,”  _ came with a soft laugh,  _ “you were in thought again.”  _ What first sounded teasing was immediately laced with Kaede’s rambling adoration:  _ “I love that about you, Whether it’s good or bad, it instantly tells me that you’re giving serious thought to what we’re talking about.”  _

Was there anything this girl didn’t know about Rena?! This was starting to become scary, but it didn’t feel that way—if anything, any fear she felt was because Minami Rena had just been asked to marry Akino Kaede, who saw right through her and still loved what she’d seen. 

Rena couldn’t help but be selfish, and a little bit devilish: “What of it?” she prompted 

Kaede hummed, so exaggerated that it was obvious she didn’t need to think.  _ “If I had to guess, your mind is still reeling from being entrusted with my heart. Which, if I had to be frank, is kinda ridiculous, Rena-chan. After all, you trusted  _ me  _ with  _ yours  _ years ago! It’s only fair that I offer you the same courtesy.”  _

_ “And that’s basically what I said before. Basically, at least.”  _

“Huh? Stop talking in metaphors or whatever!” 

A giggle.  _ “Basically,”  _ Kaede said pointedly,  _ “after you so rapturously noticed your girlfriend’s courteous intuition, I said, ‘Rena-chan, of course you wouldn’t be all over the idea of me consigning my heart to yours. Even though I’m just a clingy, self-loathing little crybaby, I’m just too good for the clingy, self-loathing little crybaby named Minami Rena.’”  _

Deep down Rena knew, for all her admiration, that Kaede was just as pathetic as she. Perhaps it’s why they made great marriage material for none but each other. Deep down, Rena knew. Had known. Always known. 

Rena knew so well that she couldn’t bring herself to agree, disagree, or even acknowledge that fact aloud. She could only joke: “You  _ really  _ said all of  _ that  _ in such a short amount of time?” She could only run. 

_ “Basically, like I said. You didn’t even tell me to shut up, which means you’ve acknowledged and accepted that we’re not so different from each other.”  _

Damn it all. Rena had to laugh. Kaede knew her so well, knew just what to say to cut into Rena’s walls. 

A sob burst forth, too, because despite everything—despite all her problems—Kaede knew Rena so well that her heart’s inner walls had opened the pearly gates for this wimpy, clingy, crybaby magical girl. 

A wail crescendoed because despite everything—despite all her own problems—-so too did the inner walls of Rena’s heart open for Kaede. Her sweet Kaede. 

She knew this for a fact; for the first time in her life, Rena’s heart did beat steady. 

Steady did it beat as she said, “Kaede?” 

_ “Yeah, Rena? What is it?”  _ Her smile was audible. Genuine. Not at all laced with ridicule or exasperation. 

Rena couldn’t even see it, and yet it was adorable. “I’m glad I made you my girlfriend,” she said. 

And then Kaede hung up. 

Kaede hung u—!  _ Bang-bang-bang!  _

Writhing with such emotion, Rena lashed her body towards the window, only for all feeling to grind and then burst in full at the druidess sitting criss-cross atop a vine like she was Jack the beanstalk climber. 

Rena threw her window open, flooding her ears with an army’s march of crickets and nose with the damp scent of night and Kaede’s earthy, fruity smell. “Were you seriously waiting nearby?” 

A gasp shuddered forth. “I ran the moment I saw you calling me.” And there was only time to catch damp tracks gleaming down Kaede’s face as she let her precious staff fall in favor of lunging both hands forth. 

Rena braced herself for something, no time to think of what. 

But it wasn’t to be yanked like a doll by Kaede’s magical girl strength, nor to be thrown from the coolness of her bedroom into the cool of night; nor the heat of her girlfriend’s stomach to cradle that of Rena’s thighs and tickle her further north. 

Barely any of this was processed as electricity tingled upwards, from loins to belly, from lips to brain as they were sucked on, bitten, breathed raggedly against and whimpered into. 

“Me too,” Kaede whispered, Rena’s cheeks filling her rough, soil-scented gloves, drunkening them both with so many memories. 

It intoxicated Rena so that she scooped up Kaede’s bottom lip, ground it gently between her teeth back and forth, to and fro, sucked so hard she smacked sharply before diving in again, gumming it, massaging Kaede’s lip like her tongue would a lollipop, desperate to melt it into sugar. 

Kaede pulled back with a cry. No, a moan—her thighs quaked beneath Rena’s cotton-clad rump. 

“I’m so glad I made you my girlfriend, Rena!” she moaned with hooded eyes, lips glistening and ruddy. 

She was so fucking cute. So damn sweet. Rena threw herself around this angel, pressing herself fully into Kaede’s self as though trying to become one with her. Maybe she was. She wanted to. Maybe. 

Skinny arms squeezed tight around Rena, trapping Rena, ensuring for all time that Rena couldn’t escape, even when physically apart and free. She would always be in Kaede’s arms, and Rena… 

“I’ll never let you go,” she said. On impulse Rena turned, planted a kiss in Kaede’s ear; she tittered, shying away as the kiss turned to nibbling, then a pleased little moan as Rena smooched her cheek once, twice, three times. “Never, I’ll never let go of you.” 

“Rena-chan,” Kaede moaned. 

“So we… we might as well agree since, you know, there’s no point in putting it off.” 

“Eh?!” Kaede yanked away, clasping Rena by the shoulders, who held back twice as fiercely, for gravity was trying to rip them apart. 

But if common sense couldn’t split them up, there’s no way something as grounded in logic as physics would have a chance: “Don’t make me say it out loud!” 

Kaede smirked. “I won’t know unless you do~” 

Rena yanked herself up and Kaede forth, only for her breasts to buck Kaede away with a yelp. “Fuck you, marry me!” Rena said as she gathered the howling redhead into a gentler hug. 

Kaede gasped between laughs. “Yes!” she cackled, her arms pinned between one another’s bosoms, hands squeezing Rena’s shoulders. “Yes, yes, of course!” 

It was obvious why she was laughing, and Rena hated it. She hated that she could barely suppress her own smirk. “Quit laughing at me, jerk!” 

“I heard an actual ‘boing,’ though!” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Rena laughed. Kaede challenged her to do so, which she accepted hands-free. 

As far as the families of Kaede and Rena knew, they spent their weekend together at Momoko’s house, informed of this by the blonde’s very mouth. 

That same mouth then checked two “adults” into a love hotel for three days and nights. 


End file.
